Friday, December 20, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
|Taken February 10, 2005|
I remember going home in tears with a heavy heart and an appointment the next day at the hospital for a high definition ultra sound. Never will I forget the sick feeling in my stomach and the worry that enveloped me that I might lose my baby. After all, my prayers had been answered and she was otherwise healthy and beautiful.
The next day I drove by myself to the hospital and after getting undressed, had to lay in this huge, cold room. I remember how sterile it seemed and how scared I felt. However, just minutes later the new tech informed me that there must have been some mistake, that everything looked fine and that my tiny one would be okay. I cried again, but this time they were tears of joy. I smiled the whole way home.
Now she is almost grown, a beautiful fifteen year old with a sunshine smile that could light up even the darkest room. I can't imagine my life without her. She has been my little co-pilot, riding along a sometimes very treacherous journey with me. She's this gorgeous sprite and I often can't believe that she is mine. How could I be so lucky to have created something so spectacular, a true gift from God.
Life is hard, growing up is never easy. The judgement that we sometimes inflict on ourselves is often ten times worse than what anyone else could do. As a parent, if I can give anything to my children, it would be the knowledge that they are all perfectly made and special because of their individual gifts, personalities and beauty. You can always compare yourself to others, tell yourself that they are prettier than you, smarter than you, ect... That's not allowed, because they are not you, never could they be you, nor give to the world all the sparkle that only you can give, the love only you can show. You are a treasure.
My little Savannah, you have no idea how wonderful you are, how I miss you when you are gone and pray everyday for your brightness to return. You are beautiful, inside and out. I love you to the moon and stars and back!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Friday, November 1, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
|Our son Max, two at the time, is wearing the beloved hat. My other son Sam is wearing my beloved signed Jersey.|
Friday, October 11, 2013
The funny thing is that I had wrongfully presumed that while I was here in New Mexico I would have the opportunity to blog more. However, while I've been here since last Thursday, it's just been one of those crazy busy trips that seem to stretch time, but steal it at the same instance. Tomorrow I head back home and I am very excited to see my littles as well as my honey-bee. He has been a rock star while I have been away juggling work and the girls. I have also had some very appreciated help from my neighbors and our beloved baby-sitter Kate, today she is even taking them to the movies. Thank you all!
This trip has been a much appreciated opportunity to see my family and friends, as well as work, show Max the Balloons and hike A LOT! My parents and I have taken several hikes and walks since I have been here (we're supposed to go on my seventh hike/walk in a little while.) They live just a mile or two from some awesome trailheads that lead up to the Sandia Mountain foothills. Max has been my little co-hiker and rides in a pack on my back. I have loved it and the one on one time with both my mom and dad, a very special and unusual treat! Last Saturday we found a new trail and on Tuesday we hiked even further and found some really cool rock formations. The whole experience of seeing the mountain and lush landscape in a new perspective, gave us the illusion that we were in a whole new country.
|Balloon Fiesta on Saturday morning with my momma and sister Elizabeth|
|Finally just about done!|
|Max helping my mom spread rock.|
It has also felt good to see some of my people and have some long, deep conversations about life, love and future pursuits. Sunday, I had a bittersweet blast with my dad at The Fox and The Hound. While the Seahawks lost a heartbreaker, him and I had an awesome time together, enjoying some very rare one-on-one time. Elizabeth and the girls and my mom and Max met up with us late in the second half and consoled me on my team's loss. Then Max and I headed to my good friend Becky and Tushar's house to hang out and allow their three year old son TJ and Max to play. They were so cute and became friends instantly, jumping in TJ's little motorized vehicles and laughing as they rode around the yard. We spent the night and were treated an awesome dinner and conversation. (Thank you for your encouragement in my future personal endeavors... I'll keep you posted!)
|At Balloon Fiesta Today!|
My sister Kathleen got back in town Monday (we've been together every night this week) and spent the night Wednesday. We both woke up in the middle of the night and stayed up for over three hours talking. It was nice to lay in bed and discuss the secrets of our hearts in the dark. I loved having the opportunity to have a sleep-over with both her and Elizabeth while I was here. (Sort of Colleen too, but she is in the next room with her hubby!) My sisters are my best friends and my loves. Last night Colleen and Jed got in town just in time to eat dinner and I was as happy as a clam sitting between her and Kathleen while we ate.
My family and friends are very important to me and I am blessed to have them in my life. While I was writing this blog, I heard Train's song, Bruises. The lyrics spoke to me as I wrote about this trip and called to mind how I do have "bruises," but I am lucky to have people in my life who know of them, have experienced them with me and have only the intention of helping me fix them. No matter if it was hiking, painting, talking, shoveling or watching balloons, all the events of this week have helped to open my mind and bring peace to my heart. We all do have bruises and while it's therapeutic to discuss them, it's also just as important to let them them go. Thank you to my family and friends (my people) for helping me on my journey to continue to do so.
Side Note: I have officially hit over 20,000 hits on my blog... Thank you so much to all my readers! You all keep my dream of writing alive!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
I just want to thank God for saving my mother-in-law today. She was in a horrendous accident and came away with just a sore elbow after they literally had to use the jaws of life to release her from the truck.
Grandma, as I call her, is one of the most loving, caring people I know. Her and my father-in-law (Papa) are amazing. They both live with integrity and practice true, unconditional love. From the very beginning, they welcomed me and my little ones into their family literally with open arms.
The ironic thing was that Papa was at the church mowing when it happened. They are both devote Catholics and very involved in their church. I truly believe an angel followed Grandma on her trip today and watched over her during her accident. After seeing the damage to the truck, there really isn't any other explanation.
At times I wonder if God hears our prayers, but today I know that he's been listening. He saved a wife, a mother and a grandmother and speaking for all of us who truly love her, we thank Him very much.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Finally, I coaxed her to take off her shoes and get measured, (Sage was worried she was too tall.) We laughed as she literally made it in by a hair and she smiled as he made her way to her sister and brother. When we finally called them to go, they were grinning and telling us how much fun they had. I was happy that I'd encouraged my Sage to go ahead and just be little. After all, childhood goes by in just a blink.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
H a P p Y B i R t H d A y Kathleen!!!
|September 24, 2009 Las Vegas Birthday Trip!|
|September 25, 2009 Las Vegas!|
I remember walking through the lobby of the Venetian and looking around for my sister Kathleen who had come down from my parent's room to get me. When we saw one another, we literally ran and jumped in each-other's arms, laughing, crying and hugging. It's one of those moments I will never forget. I was finally safe in loving arms and you have no idea how good that felt. It was raw love. A few hours later, at exactly midnight, we rang in Kathleen's 29th birthday. Needless to say, we had a blast!
Throughout the years my sister Kathleen has walked by my side through many of my life changing paths. Either there in person or in spirit, I have always been able to count on her. She, like all my siblings, is my best friend. Ironically, she is the reason that I am with my husband. She was there the night we met and actually encouraged him to sit down by us. Little did we know, how she had just had a hand in aligning the stars.
Kathleen I love you. I love you in the purest form of the word. We understand and feel each other's emotions in almost an indescribable way. God had a plan in giving us one another and I am grateful for you every second of every day.
Happy Birthday Dear Sister! I love you and hope all your dreams come true!
|December 31, 2008 in Estes Park, Colorado|
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
My Savannah has homecoming next weekend and as part of the festivities, they have a Throwback Thursday during spirit week. So yesterday she asked me if I could get her some footie pajamas and send them to her. Having sadly missed out on getting her a homecoming dress, I was grateful to be able to participate in some way, even if it meant purchasing giant size footies.
So via snapchat, we narrowed it down to a couple different styles and I decided to surprise her and put them on to check sizes as well as model them for her. I tried on a small because that was the closest that was going to fit her and I wanted to see if the pjs were going to even be close. They fit snug, but my gosh they were the most comfy things I think I've worn since I was a toddler and actually wore footies on a regular basis. I was so jealous of Max that he got to sport such comfort every night and later told my husband I want a pair. (If you want a pair visit Target.com)
Anyway, that's where the giggles and uncontrollable laughter cues in. I called her and told her I sent a snapchat of them on me and the second that Savannah saw the picture, she lost it. However, I knew I was in trouble when I saw she took a screen shot. It was only a matter of seconds and she had shared it with her best friend and boyfriend. What I have to admit, is that I loved every minute of it. I loved being able to feel like we were actually together, school shopping of sorts, bonding over homecoming attire and laughing the whole time. I say it frequently, but I am going to say it again... I miss her and Sam like crazy. Maybe that's why I found myself, in Target's fitting room, in Max's pajamas, taking dreaded selfies.
I hope you like them Savannah Banana. Maybe I will get another pair for me and we can be twins the next time we're together.
Good-night, I love you both, to the moon and stars, moon and stars and back!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
When I think of you, you're this little girl, patent leather shoes, spunky little outfit, eight years old with the weight of the world already on your shoulders. I look at old photographs and wish so badly to be able to jump into those pictures, hug you tightly and tell you everything is going to be okay. I was looking through several from this day, most were smiley pictures, except for this one. Here you are lost in your own thoughts, off by yourself. Looking back at this photo, it's almost as if this unforeseeable force swooped in and stole you away from me.
I naively thought for so many years that I could protect you from all the bad in the world, I was wrong. I wish every second, of everyday that you were here, you and your brother. I remember you as babies, snuggled close to me after I nursed you to sleep. How can it be that you are so far away? I miss you so much it hurts.
My little Savannah, you're growing up so fast, this beautiful young lady with a personality that lights up a room. I want you to know one thing, that you deserve every happiness. I am so proud of you, so humbled at how greatly you love and how brightly you shine. You're amazing and I am so blessed to call you mine... I know I have said things like this before, but I also know you can't say them too much.
I love you my Savannah and my sweet little Sam, I miss you, I wish you were here.
Good night... I love you to the moon and stars, moon and stars and back.
P.S. I know you read these and my Sam doesn't. Can you please hug him for me and have him hug you back.
I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married
Elad NehoraiSep 11, 2013
Monday I wasn't feeling well (that's why I was naughty and didn't blog). He came home from work and I was cranky. It started when my ironing board broke (Max tried to surf on it... Max won). Something silly, but actually very annoying when you are trying to iron. In comes my prince charming, my knight and shining save-me-from-myself armor. He hugged me, massaged my shoulders and brought me slowly to my center. We had a chat and I felt better. I thanked him, he was acting in love.
My husband isn't overly lovey-dovey, but that's not to be confused with not being complimentary. When I am feeling low about my post five pregnancies body, he is always there to pick me up. When I didn't think I was capable, he made me feel beautiful. It's easy to throw a women a line, it's harder to make her believe it. That is where the work comes in, the action of making her believe what you say.
People say it's the little things that matter, I agree. It's finding my phone on my charger when it was dead and I was too busy to put it there. Bringing home my favorite treat, taking a walk around the neighborhood, listening to my silly stories, stopping so I can photograph something, welcoming my family with open arms when they visit, helping me put the kids to bed, always kissing me good-bye in the morning, sleeping on the couch-bed in the hospital for days in a row so I wouldn't be alone when I was on bed-rest. It's taking the boys for haircuts tonight and encouraging me to take some time and go for a bike ride.
My husband doesn't just do these things for me, but also our kids. When I was working my trade show in August, he piled them all in the car to go school shopping because Old Navy was having a one day jean sale. He recently surprised Saxton with a case for her tablet that she'd been asking for. (It was so cute seeing her open the mail box and smile all the way home with her prize.) A rose on a special day or grapes for lunch because he knows they like them. He was the one last year who woke up Sage early every Tuesday and Friday for band and drove Saxton this morning for her band try-outs. Not because I won't, he's just being helpful. It's going to Wild Waves or the fair on his one weekend day off instead of watching baseball or football. It's the little things after all.