Monday, February 9, 2015

I'm back in the saddle again, #LifeAsAMomStudent.

So Savannah has a blog!  It is for school and she is still trying to find her voice.  I love it!  She asked about my blog and I admitted to allowing it to go to the wayside.  So on the eve of my second round of hospital clinicals (I am so nervous!) here goes!

The main reason I have been missing is because I am in school.  In May of last year I got accepted into the Respiratory Therapy Program I had applied to.  It started in September and the last several months have been a blur of school, homework, tests, lab practicals and trying to juggle being a mom, wife and friend.  I swore when I graduated from Colorado State that I would never tackle school again, but life had different plans.

The post below is from when I received some of my books from school... it was a scary, but exciting moment to realize I had just set of on a new quest.

It's starting to get real... I can't believe I'm going back to school! I thought after graduating from Colorado State, that was my last Hurray... Life and a little dream chasing said differently 
I think the hardest part of being a student at 38 is being 38.  My weekends are spent doing laundry, cleaning up my house and trying to spend time with my kids or doing homework.  Last week was insane, I shared this post more in a reminder to myself when I look back, what my weeks were like:

This is a crazy week! I have three tests this week and four practical exams. Today I had school all day and then I had to go to the grocery, get Sage from soccer come home take Saxton to skate night and then on to basketball practice. Finally home! (Poor Jerry also had to get Brayden from his basketball and now he's gone back into work.) It's time for my dinner and more studying! yeah! *I know I am blessed to be in school and I'm so happy the kids are able to play sports that they love.

I do know how blessed I am... but it comes with a price.  I sometimes spend 70 plus hours a week either studying or in school.  I listen to lectures and recorded reviews in my car most days, I live at my desk upstairs.  It is hard for the kids who were used to me being there for all their needs.  They have had to step up at home and help with the dishes and chores.  I feel pressure to be everything for everyone and that is hard.  I think the greatest pressure is the pressure that I put on myself to do well in school and make all of this worth it.  My family believes in me, I don't know what I would do without them, especially my Jerry who has helped so much and is the most amazing cheer leader!  I guess sometimes I just need to believe in myself.  I haven't changed much from high school, I still study at lunch and get nervous before every test.  I am a nerd who wants to learn the concepts, not memorize facts for test.  This adds a lot of extra work, but I am hoping it will pay off in the end.  But most of all I want to succeed at this... 

This is my life these days... (In addition to family and laundry ) Hours of school, 2x those hours of studying, clinical, flash cards, recordings of my lectures (once is never enough) and study guides. Walking and studying works well to tame my extremely stressed psyche. God bless my family and friends for picking up the pieces.
 — at Chambers Bay.

One thing that has helped immensely are my walks/hikes and sometimes runs at Chambers Bay.  It has been there that I can decompress and often quietly study.  I walk the path and down to the beach and listen to lectures and study my notes.  I love it.  Sometimes I even walk in the rain.  

Some days I walk and study watching a gorgeous sunset. Today I study in the rain... But I love it no matter.
 — at Chambers Bay Running Trail.

I spent a lot of my life searching for "my place" "my home" and I feel like I have finally found it here.  Now I am attempting to fulfill a life long dream of working in the medical field. I feel so lucky to have a place to go to bring me back to my center.  I feel so overwhelmed at times and so stressed and Chambers has helped me to find my center. 

I have the craziest feeling my grandma is sitting with me as I study. She's good momma... She's really good. She's with grandpa and her heart is so happy!!!
 — with Denise Frisoni Connelly Miller.

In November my beloved grandma passed away, the enormity of losing her is a blog post all in its own.  But I believe that when I went home to say good-bye to her, I was able to bring her spirit back with me.  I talk to her sometimes when I get stressed, I need an angel by my side.

I also need some friends...
I am so lucky because I have found some in school.  We all come from different paths, but now work towards the same goal, become the best Respiratory Therapists we can.  

Other School posts!

After 8.5 hours of school I'm getting miles for my babies! it's been tough... School for me five days a week... Watching my Rockin' Sage and her CC meets 2x a week, cuties playing soccer, school activities, Dr. Apt., laundry, housework, homework and tests and worst of all... rush hour! I just played hookie for a bit and enjoyed this bit of heaven on earth!
 — at Chambers Bay.
I've truly lost my mind! I am now singing Christmas songs to the tune of my Respiratory therapy notes!!! Whoops switch that!I'm singing my notes to the tune of Christmas songs! Let's hope I haven't lost my mind because I need it to take finals next week!

 A Mom/Student's purse and Max at my school.  I was proud to show him where I go everyday.