Today is special for multiple reasons, but the biggest is that it’s the 23rd Anniversary of the first time I felt unconditional love. It’s the day my first baby was born and for the first time in my life I felt what pure love felt like. And it was amazing and wonderful and so scary!
Twenty three years later and now this beautiful creature is a sprite who exudes sunshine. From the beginning she was my co pilot, my reason for living, my source of strength when my life and marriage was tough. I would say today She still is.
We’ve grown up together. I still remember her sitting shot gun as infant in my single cab (no back seat) pick up truck smiling while I belted out “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!” She came to my nanny job with me, out with friends, everywhere. My Ex’s schedule and lifestyle led to a lot of time with just her and I and I never minded. She was my other half. There is this picture of the two of us at a HS Football game and we’re both in headbands, overalls and white T-shirts. I’m proudly holding her with a big grin on my face. I was and always will be happy to be her momma.
As the years went on I could see her determination, her gumption, her big heart. Her forgiving heart. For despite her dad and I and all our decisions, our imperfections, our misguided choices, she still welcomes me with open arms.
Today on her birthday it’s important to me that she knows how proud I am, how grateful I am for her love and all of our memories. My heart was sad this year when February came and there were no more mom’s weekends. One big blessing in my relationship with her were the four mom’s weekends with her sorority while she was in college. I remember the first one that happened During her freshman year. I almost didn’t go because it’s kind of last minute and I was having trouble getting all my travel plans together. However to this day I am so happy that I was able to make it work. I remember sitting the first night at this table full of moms and daughters. Her and I have been through so much with my divorce and everything and living in different parts of the country. But here we were just like everybody else. I was just a mom visiting her daughter at school. I’ll never forget that feeling. It was one of my favorite mom moments.
We went on to have many amazing memories while she was in school and I was lucky to get her for most holidays and even a summer. There were times when she would look at me and I would see the same Smile as when she was a baby Monday realized that no matter how old she was she’ll always be my little girl.
