Friday, August 24, 2012

Max and friends update... written over several days...

Written August 14th 2012 It has been a little hairy since my last blog post.  I have been getting ready for and then working at a trade show in downtown Seattle for my company Garden Critters.  We sell steel art, aka heavy art, so Jerry and I needed to make a display and then figure out how to get it set up and such.  It all went fine and last Friday we set it up and Saturday my show started.  Set up day I was gone from 7 am until almost 11 pm so I didn’t even get to see the kids that day.  I have been leaving early, before anyone is up so I don’t see them until after seven at night when I get home.  Last night Saxton said she didn’t want me to work anymore.  I told her I only had one more day, but that I was really hoping to get new business for my little company so that we can keep going.  I think they might have taken the fact that I am home for them all the time for granted just a bit, so maybe this is good for everyone.

Max has turned into my snuggle bug when I get home.  Normally he is go go go, but I think he misses his momma.  He is doing better.  Jerry took him to his doctor appointment yesterday and they actually removed part of his cast off his good leg.  Although Jerry sent me a picture of his leg and the break looked worse, this led me to start bawling in the middle of the trade show and poor Jerry received a barrage of texts until he was able to explain that the Doctor sees new growth and he really is fine.  I am still skeptical, but that is the way of the mom.

Jerry has been amazing.  He took time off of work to care for Max and the other kids while I am working the show.  Max is easier, yet harder to take care of.  He has to be carried everywhere and obviously carried carefully because of his cast.  After yesterday, when they took off a bit of his cast, he can sit a little better, but before that he really couldn’t sit.  So you have to prop him up or hold him up. 
Sunday, August 12th, Jerry took all of the kids to get Max's hair cut.  Because he is on his back so much and his hair is longer, it is knotting up.  He had to sit on his lap, but Jerry said he did very good.  Afterwards they went to Costco for a few things and Jerry told me how awesome Saxton was to let Max sit in her lap in the cart.  She didn't even complain when her legs went numb.  What good and helpful littles I have. 
Fast Forward... Written today!!!

Photo: #sister #love #littlebrother #cute #instagram @
Sage entertaining Max in Seattle.
The Cousins and the girls
near Pikes Place Market
Last week we had an fun visit from my two nieces and nephew (two of which I hadn't met yet.)  It was very fun to have dinner with them and get to know one another.  Last Friday, the 17th I took them and my other nephew Tyler and Sage, Saxton and Max and we went into the City to do some sightseeing and let them have at city shopping.  The girls and Max were really good and Sage was very helpful concerning the fact that I had Max in my pouch all day.  She offered to wear my backpack and help lighten my load.  He wasn't able to nap until the way home and I was really impressed at how well he held it together.  He is like his momma, and he likes to go and explore and being so restrained is really a bummer to him. 

Wednesday Max noticed Saxton was sad and said, "Saxton crying." it's very cool to see how he is not only learning several words a day, but also how life works and about other people's emotions. He now hugs and kisses regularly.  He'll say, "hug, hug." It's very cute.  Sage worked with him on saying please and thank you and now he'll even say no thank you.  His please sounds more like "peas" and his thank you is quickly said and sounds like, "tank you." 

Wednesday night Jerry and I took Max for a walk in his wagon. It was our second trip on a walk, earlier I took him on his first ride on his bike since he broke his leg.  He ran into his friend Zack and they hung out.  It's hard for Max because his two little buddies can run around, but he can't.  That night a bunch of neighbors were outside and we ended up staying out until almost nine. I love that we can all just mingle and watch our kids play and interact. We're very lucky at the support we've gotten from all of them.  If any of you are reading this... THANK YOU!!!

Yesterday we had another Dr. Appointment and thankfully the X-ray showed some improvement. However Max is in his body and full leg cast until at least September twelfth. The girls had went with our neighbor Amy to Wild Waves, so we met them there. Max was actually able to ride a few rides including the carousel, which he loves. He calls the horses "neighs." We also watched the sea lion show and all really enjoyed that. The kids were so cute clapping because the trainer said the Sea Lions liked it.

At the end of the day I finally took him near the water. I wasn't sure how he'd react at not being able to go in, but he did fine. I walked with him, splashing through the shallow end of the wave pool and then we went over near the fountain where I put him near the water sprays. He laughed and enjoyed the feeling of just being near the water, even if he couldn't get wet.  He was really good all day for being so limited and it was sure nice for the girls to have a fun day with their friends. 

We biked to Tacoma Boys today!
Max at battle last evening!
Life has been interesting and with my show has been a bit of a juggling act handling it all.  The kids start school on September 4th and 5th, so that means school shopping and gathering supplies.  Thankfully the weather has been beautiful and we have been able to get outside a lot.  We went to Chamber's Bay on Sunday and today the girls and I and Max biked up to Tacoma Boys to get a few things.  They did great, even uphill.  Since Max got part of his cast removed from his good leg, he can now sit in a highchair and in his wagon.  We still have to have him in the car seat he received at the hospital. (see picture, he was so tired after Wild Waves yesterday he crashed on the way home.)  He is a trooper during the day when we have to run errands and such, but still is having a hard time with sleeping.  I was talking to my boss today (he was up early this morning and had a hard time falling asleep last night) and she was commenting how hard it is to get comfortable in a cast (she broke her leg this spring) and you just can't sleep well.  When he was in his full Spica cast, he was pretty immobile in bed and we could prop in such a way that he would be comfortable and not move.  However now he can pull himself up in the crib and then I think it's hard for him to get back down and get situated to where he feels good.  I just feel bad for him. Hopefully on the 12th he will be free, but then mom won't, she'll be a mess as she tries to protect him from falls that could possibly hurt him again.  I guess at that point I will need a big ol' dose of FAITH and an extra guardian angel for his care.   

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fevers and Showers

Max through us for a loop this morning and woke up with a high fever of almost 103. I'm normally the worrier, but even Jerry was concerned it had something to do with his leg. I gave him some medicine and after awhile he fell asleep and slept much of the morning. After calls into Max's orthopedic and pediatrician I was set at ease that it was just a virus. Whew. His fever finally seemed to break tonight after he took a little snooze in his beanbag.

While he was sleeping this morning, I got myself set up to paint my white walls for my display and opened a can of black paint. This led us back to Lowe's for the right paint and a few other errands. (I was out of Tylenol, a staple item with a sick little) Always an adventure with kiddos.

Max was pretty quiet today, you could tell he was fighting something. The kids were all good with him, but Sage is his shadow. Her relationship with him is precious and heartwarming. She sure loves her "Do" as she calls him. She's a little fixture in his life right now, especially the last few days because the neighborhood has been quiet.

Tonight after I mowed, Jerry and I had to get my other walls laid out so I could paint tomorrow and the girls were laying with Max. You could just hear the chatter and giggles among the three of them, it was very cute.

My selfish highlight of the day day my shower at the end of it. I have to confess I hadn't showered in two days and I can't remember if it was last Friday or Saturday that I last washed my hair (although I did swim in the lake on Sunday). And it felt oh so good. It had been a day that contained stress, so similar to the song in South Pacific, "I'm going to wash that funk right out of my hair." Whew, what a day!

Monday, August 6, 2012

New Normal

I'm trying to get used to my new lifestyle and I'm close, but each day sets a new learning curve.

Max slept decent last night which was great, because I would need the sleep I got for today. It was one of those days that you look at the clock and see its 4:30 and you can't remember eating lunch. Max is on his belly now and as much as I appreciate his helping me clean the floor with his shirt, I felt the need to clean. Sage was so cute and sat and watched these baby learning show with Max so I could vacuum and mop. Then coupon cutting time because we had to run to the store. I love my coupons!

Our errands went normally, kids asking, "can I have this?" and me saying, "no." ha ha. I put Max in my pouch and after a few nods to the cart and me explaining why he couldn't sit in it, he was fine. The tricky part was going potty. I always have to go, that's what having five kids does to you. The problem was, I had Max hanging on me, sort of to the side because of his cast and there really is little room to manipulate him. Not to mention he's a lot heavier with his cast on. All in all it was interesting and a bit of a feat, but you do what you gotta do.

One saving grace was that he took a decent nap so that I could work on stuff for my trade show. It is coming down to the wire and by Friday, I have to be good to go. It's always interesting working from home, but a huge blessing that I have the opportunity to do so. We just need this economy to get a jump start so that people start buying again.

Tonight my neighbor Amy saved the day and watched all the littles for Jerry and I so we could run to Lowe's to get all our supplies to build my display. It's not easy to build something to display steel on, it's heavy! But we're going to Bob the Builder it and get 'er done.

One cool thing that has happened over the last few days, is that Max is saying all of the kid's names and This morning he finally said Brayden. It is probably only decipherable by us, but it's still so cute. Life does go on, it's just a bit different right now, like I don't have my little helper at the dishwasher and I'm buying size five and size one diapers instead of size four because that is what works with his spica cast. But Max has moxie and he won't let this silly ol' cast slow him down, he'll just learn new ways to cope and be happy, his new normal.

Tonight Max was in his beanbag and I was fixing dinner for the kids. Sage was sitting next to him, keeping him company. As soon as Sage came over in the kitchen to eat, this sweet little voice rang out, calling "Sage...Sage!!!" She smiled at the sound of her name and I let her bring her dinner into the family room to sit with him. We have a house rule that the kids eat in the kitchen, but this is a new normal in our house that I can most definitely handle.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

A seafair kind of day

Today was a good day.  Did we have a few off moments, absolutely, that's how life rolls, but all in all we had a lot of fun.  It started off with the fact that Max slept in his crib again last night and only woke up briefly in the middle of the night.  He woke up early early this morning and I gave him some water and changed his diaper and he ended up falling back asleep.  I was super grateful... I was starting to feel like a zombie.

I knew that I wanted to get out of the house today (momma and Max were both getting a little stir crazy) so after hemming and hawing, we decided to go try and find a place to watch  Seafair .  We were running too late to try to go to the actual park, so we decided to try our luck at finding a place along Lake Washington to watch. (I also didn't want him around a bunch of crowds and risk him getting bumped. I'm such a worry wart.)  Anyway, one of the coolest parts of the show are the Blue Angels .  Max loves LOVES planes and boats so we thought it might be fun for him to watch the airshow.  After making our way around Seattle and through traffic we finally found a parking spot.  We had to manage our way down several steep hills to get to the water but we finally made it and just happened upon (thanks to a little help from my phone) a small public access beach, tiny really, but with an awesome view and free! (Seafair can be expensive after you buy parking, tickets, ect...) 

The girls spent much of the day happily playing in the water and Jerry and I were lucky enough to find a spot on a cement slab for our chairs.  (Max was happiest and most comfortable on our laps.)  The waves from the lake would rush over the slab and cool our feet, it was wonderful on a hot day.  And Max loved it!  He was so cute how he would wave at the planes going 600 miles an hour above his head.  It was one of those days that we weren't sure how it would go, it was our first big outing with Max (thank goodness for the stroller my neighbor lent us) and we really had no idea where we would end up, but it all worked out. 

Max was a bit loud in the car but I think he was just happy to be out and about and letting the whole world know it.  I think the hardest part for him is the major crimp the Spica cast puts on his mobility.  His swelling is finally pretty much gone and he didn't complain about any pain today so he probably wonders why he's in this straight jacket.  I'm curious if this is the norm for this type of injury. My thought is that because he is so young and his bones are growing so rapidly, he is healing much faster and an adult would.  The hospital staff told us that he will do what he feels comfortable, and like I said yesterday, he is already army crawling like a pro. 

Watching the Blue Angels today made me realize how awesome life is.  I was trying to explain in a way that the girls could fathom how amazing and insane the way they fly is.  Poor things had to hear about how they would puke all over themselves if they even just went for a ride.  That might have been TMI but oh well, that's the way I roll.  I just want them to know they can shoot for the moon and ride a rocket, all they had to do was believe. (Although I think I would have a full on heart attack if they actually did.)

So other than the crazy up hill climb back to our car in blazing heat, the day was great! The girls were champs and pushed/pulled the wagon filled with our stuff up most of the way, while Jerry and I pushed Max. I was proud of my little pack mules, and they didn't complain! I think they were pretty comfortable because they were wet from swimming, and so was I. I have to admit I was wearing bathing suite-ish undergarments and after everyone left I jumped in and swam in the lake, it felt outstanding! (Little Max had fallen asleep on dad and so I knew he wouldn't be sad, my little fish.)

I know these next weeks are going to be a challenge, just the simple things like getting Max in and out of his crib are difficult (really rough on the back.)  Baths are now done with his little head being held over the kitchen sink and he can't follow me around anymore, he has to be carried.  His cast is already starting to become compromised as far as the waterproof lining and I am sure it will be filthy and stinky when all is said and done. 

The biggest change is the way I see things now concerning not only my children, but others as well, cringing at every fall, every climb or bike ride.  I have even told teenage girls to wear helmets and to not drag their friends riding skateboards on their bellies behind scooters (I think I had an argument there.)  I worry.  Max's fall was so small and onto a pillow for goodness sakes, that I worry about what a huge fall would do.  I know his leg is going to be fragile for some time even after his cast comes off

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Life moves on and we adjust more to having Max in his spica cast.

Wow!  So last night we put the front of the crib back on Max's crib/toddler bed and put the bumper pads in to block his legs from the slats. The result, Max slept through the night!  Knock on wood, but maybe being back in his own bed helped him sleep better, plus the swelling is finally starting to go down in his injured leg.  The only problem was that mom and dad were anxious for him, so we still didn't sleep super good :)  I think we need a few more days to breath a little easier.

Today it's gorgeous and warm, but we got out for a walk and found some round pillows at the same garage sale, just another piece in the comfort puzzle for little Max... so thanks Beth for the donation to the happy Max fund and also for the push pop. 

I was talking with my friend Jen today about all of this and she helped me really put things in perspective about the concept of fixable vs. not.  Prayers being answered, Max's injury is fixable.  Although truth be told it is hard to deal with right now, I am trying to count my blessings, such as the fact that everyday he seems to be doing better and the outpouring of support from everyone, especially my neighborhood.  If this had happened in winter, yes, we wouldn't mind so much being housebound, but also we wouldn't have the good weather that has allowed us to get outside every day.  All the daily interactions with my neighbors have led to the additional materials and such, not to mention all the kind words, has made our lives easier and Max more comfortable.

As I said before, I'm bummed that he probably won't be able to swim at Wild Waves the rest of the summer or run around with his friends.  Our ability to go on outings is limited, but it is what it is.  My attitude will dictate my happiness, as well as tone of the household.  I am truly lucky that Jerry has been such a sweetie through all this and was even able to take a few days off when it first happened.  Today actually was his first full day back.  Next weekend I have a four day trade show for work so we will have to swap rolls and he will be the one home during the day with Max.  If we can't work as partners, then this won't work.  So I will definitely add his support to my "what I am thankful for" list.

No one ever said life was easy.  The days just before this happened were rough for the simple fact that I really miss Savannah and Sam.  Being able to tuck them in and kiss them good-night and just have fun with them while we were at the lake was so awesome.  It's just plain heartbreaking saying good-bye to them.  Life isn't always easy, but it is short and I need to learn from this experience that you never know what your future is or what can happen and you just need to appreciate what you have when you have it.  It has also made me super greatful that I did get two awesome weeks with all six of my littles!

Max's buddy Luke joined him on the blanket outside.  What cuties!
Tonight we had our neighbors over for a bar b que.  It was nice to have company and all the kids had a blast playing with each other.  This afternoon Max really took to the floor to army crawl his way around so Saxton and I put knee pads on him to try and protect his cast.  I can assure you that if I had fractured my femur like he did, I would not be crawling around just four days later, no adult would.  He just won't be stopped.  The doctors emphasized how resilient babies are and Max is a huge example of that.  He is already saying, "walk" and is getting super frustrated at times at being held back by his massive cast.  I think the weather is playing a huge part as well. It was quite an oven today (95) and being in a cast can't be comfortable.  Even the girls and their friends were super hot, resorting to a steady Popsicle diet.  It sure is what it is though and we made due and made lemonade out of lemons, laying a blanket outside in the cool grass. 
This made one little boy (and his momma) pretty happy. 

Max is starting to roll over and extensively army crawl... you can see the determination in his eyes.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Max and his broken femur and tales in a spica cast

Max in his bean bag.
Written Friday August 3rd
Last night was a rough one, he was up for three plus hours in the middle of the night. At one point he wasn't sad, just loudly saying, "la-laaaa-la-laaaa." what do you do with that? His swelling was still there in his injured leg so I was paranoid to keep it elevated, but he is a wiggler so back in our room he came and I put him in his bean bag.

Max just wants to play ball.
I kind of woke him up around 9:30 this morning so he would maybe sleep better tonight. The girls helped me with some small chores and then they were lucky enough to get to go with my neighbors Amy and Anne to Pioneer park to the wading pool and then Costco for desert... Thanks so much ladies!!!

Max and I went for a walk, he's so cute how he likes to wear his sunglasses and stumbled upon a garage sale where we met a new neighbor, Beth. She had a rubber alphabet mat for a whole five bucks! Yeah! We took it home and cleaned and made room for it on the family room floor. Then I tried him in my pouch and went back to pay her. My Ergo works decent if I wear him on my side.  This option is much better to carry him because he is so awkward and cast heavy.
Watching the Olympics
The mat is a Life savor!!! He loves it and it provides great padding and traction for him and his cast. He actually played on his tummy for awhile and when Jerry came home he was scooting and pointing to each letter for daddy to tell Him what it was.

Max out for a ride in his new stroller
After nap we came outside for a wagon ride and found Christmas in our garage. My neighbor Stacy and her mom had brought over a stroller/wheelchair, a wedge, a form fitting beanbag and some diaper pads. Stacey has been an inspiration to me. Her son is handicapped, but she and her family take it all in stride and smiles. She is a shining example of a mother's unconditional love for her child. I will be forever grateful for her and several of my other neighbors, and their rock star support.

Tonight Jerry and I took a walk with Max in the stroller and met up with my neighbors Anne and Amy and their little ones, Zack and Luke. The boys were so cute and it seemed at times that they held a sweet solidarity with their hurt friend. Little Max is certainly loved.

Max and his buddies!  Luke was so cute and took his hand.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

A full day part two

Today was a new day. It started late (Max slept past noon) because Max was up from 11:30 ish pm until who knows when and then up again in the early am. We would've been fine if we hadn't been up late watching the Olympics.

Today Max showed signs he was feeling a bit better by wiggling more, Jerry said he reminded him of a turtle stuck on its back. He also started showing signs of irritation at being "stuck" in his cast. This just breaks my heart. We tried to make him happy and took him on a wagon ride where he got a Popsicle from his friend Zack. And then we propped him on pillows on his stomach on the floor where he proceeded to cause me a small heart attack when he tried to army crawl across the floor. He is such an active kiddo that this restraint is driving him nuts. 

On a personal note, I was super lucky to get a bike ride in while he was napping which was awesome! I hadn't really had any time to myself since we've been home from the lake and the fresh air and exercise was like natures medicine to me.

This evening we took our first drive anywhere and went to Costco for a short trip. We used the wagon but Max wasn't too happy at having to lay there... I held him for a bit, but that's difficult because of the weight and awkwardness of his cast. However, once we let him hold his vitamins he was happy.

We ended our night with a kitchen sink hair wash and washcloth bath. I'm hoping that helped relax him a little. He loves the water so much and I know that he is going to miss swimming and bath time. He's so cute when we watch swimming in the Olympics he says, "swim" over and over.

He's asleep now (tonight he's in his big boy bed vs the bean bag, it's too small to hold in his wiggles) and we are up late watching the Olympics again. Although I am hopeful that he has a more peaceful sleep tonight, I'm realistic that more than likely he will be up soon (and probably in bed with us like the last few mornings) so good-night for now and thanks again many times over for the support.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

What if?

How often in your life have you asked the question, "what if?"   I know I have asked it hundreds, if not thousands of times, and yesterday was one of those times.   Yesterday was meant to be a slow day. After Max's birthday Friday and Saxton's on Monday and having just gotten back from my in-laws for two weeks I needed a day to just do laundry, clean and catch up on things at home.  The kids had just went outside to play and walk Puppy and Max and I were upstairs sorting, folding and putting away laundry.  He was my little helper, following me from room to room.  I remember I was going to start a white load and for some reason I decided to put away some of the girls hanging shirts first.  One minute I was just finishing the last of their shirts, the next Max fell.  I was facing the closet and he was playing with their animals by their bed.   One second I was turning around because I heard him on their bunk bed ladder and the next he was falling or stepping, I couldn't quite tell onto the floor from the bottom of the ladder.  The ironic thing is he even fell on a bed pillow, but somehow maybe the pillow or the awkward way he stepped caused him to turn his left leg funny and that was it.

I ran to him, he was crying and I knew from the tone of his cry that something was wrong.  I hugged him, picked him up, he didn't stop crying.  That was when I started freaking out.  First I called Jerry and told him I was bringing Max to the Doctor's office, I wasn't sure what was wrong but I knew he was hurt.  I was crying and I just wanted him there. I put Max in the car and called for the kids.  Jerry left work and met us there and truly was a sight for sore eyes.

The rest of the day was a blur of driving from the Doctors office (he set his leg in a temporary cast) to the x-ray lab, back to the doctor and then on to another Doctor's office in Tacoma and then finally 
Waiting in the hospital to be casted.
finding ourselves in Mary Bridge Children's Hospital ER.  Minutes felt like hours as we waited at each place.  The whole day was long and agonizing and very emotional, just when I would think I was out of tears, they would well up again.  Seeing my baby in such pain was just too much at times.  I wished I could do anything to take it all away, I wished a million times to be able to rewind just a few minutes and do something else, anything else so that he wouldn't have hurt himself. 

It wasn't long before the "what ifs" started.  What if I had started that white load, what if I had hung the shirts faster, what if I had went and ate breakfast instead? After all, it was after ten and I had already put it off all morning.  What if I had made any other choice than to hang up the girls shirts?  I would begin this game in my mind, then out loud and the tears would start.  Jerry was absolutely wonderful and would step in and save me from myself.  My other saving grace was the staff, they would all rattle off stories of their own children's falls, etc and how random accidents just happen, they just do.  We heard stories of other femur fractures happening from a simple fall off a couch or tripping on a toy on the floor, the truth was that toddlers just don't have that strong of bones yet and they are prone to breaks like this.  If Max was just a few years older he could have been fine.

Still asleep after getting
his leg set in a cast.
Yes, one of the blessings of the whole day was most defiantly the staff. At every place we had to visit,  everyone was wonderful and very sweet to Max, Jerry and I.  The x-ray staff hugged us after they realized we saw the break on the screen and we had both become unglued.  All of the nurses and support staff were great!  Our pediatrician was awesome, he called ahead for us and because he knew the Orthopedic well, he got him to come in on his day off and take care of Max.  We have since found out that the Orthopedic  is one of the best in the state.  He was funny and joked while he set Max's leg and explained every step to us.  I have always been interested in medicine and science and it made me feel better to know what was happening with Max and to him.  He even printed out a picture of his set bone for us to take home.  

Home after the hospital. 
Another blessing was our babysitter Kate who came and picked up Sage, Saxton and Brayden from us before we went to the hospital. (Sage didn't want to leave Max, she was so sad to see him hurt.) Kate stayed with them all day until we got home.  Our neighbors also stepped in with emotional support and vehicle support (they drove and picked up Jerry's truck for us so that neither of us had to leave Max.)  Not to mention all the support on Facebook, via texts and phone calls.  Thank you every one!  Thank you!  Thank you!  You have lessened the tears and even brought smiles.

Today I thought about the gates at the top and the bottom of the stairs, putting the ladder up in Brayden's

Chilling in his wagon.  He was so relaxed
and happy to be outside.
As Jerry often says, "it is what it is."  This is true and today I had to turn from the what ifs to what now.  We had a rough night, but a better day today.  He is still in a lot of pain and we have to make sure to elevate his foot to keep down the swelling.  Thankfully Jerry was able to stay home and we took turns caring for and carrying Max.  The kids have all been very sweet and very concerned which warms my heart.  We hadn't gotten a present for Max yet and settled on a very practical one, a wagon, which Jerry picked up from Target.  We actually took him for a walk and he was able to ride in his new wagon this evening and he seemed very content.  He even chatted with the several neighbors who stopped us to love on Max.

It is going to be a long haul, possibly six weeks or more in his cast which goes from his chest down the full length of his broken leg and halfway down the other leg.  There is a small opening where we can just fit a newborn size diaper and then we put a larger one around it.  It is almost like having a newborn again, not just because of the tiny diapers we use, but how immobile and dependent he is on us to move him, prop him up, feed him and basically make him as comfortable as possible, pillows are our friends! 

What if?  A question we will never know the answer to.  One of the doctors said, what if he had fallen from the top and fell on his head?  She said this with passion as she tried to talk me out of my tears.  It's true, things could always be worse.  I'm grateful that as she also said, this is fixable.  Life has thrown me many curves and this is just another one, it just is always heartbreaking when the curve includes a hurt little one.  I have to remember that I have to quiet the "what ifs," and just have faith that God is watching over us and that Max will make a full recovery.  Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers, we really do appreciate them.