Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Now I have a seven year old and five teenagers between the ages of 13 and19. I will say this for the rest my life, that there’s nothing harder than being a parent. Every day you question your decisions, you wonder if your discipline is enough or too much, you try and hug more and scold less. You feel pride and prejudice almost every day. I mention prejudice because your children are like your cubs and you are biased by their actions and choices because of how much you love them. I have sworn over the years never to badmouth my children in public, ie this blog or Facebook. It’s been very important to me that they never look back and see that their mom wrote negatively of them. That’s not to say I haven’t gone through major struggles and continue to struggle every single day. You just won’t hear the details of those moments if it involves talking negatively about my child. Instead I’ve tried to praise them from time to time in order that on rough days if they feel like it, they can look back and remember no matter what they are facing or no matter who they feel is against them, they always know I have their back. They have my unconditional love from now until forever. I’m not trying to paint a perfect picture, and I’m not trying to deny my frustrations or the tears I have shed over the years. I’m just hoping that more than anything else I do for my children, I’m hoping to cheer for them and Today was a perfect example of that and inspired me to come back to my blog. Last year about this time Sage was diagnosed with a stress Fracture in her hip. She had to quit track and begin intensive physical therapy. I honestly don’t think either of us thought she would participate in high school sports again. In eighth grade she played football, then basketball, then soccer and then track. The doctor thought it was possible that it was just too much for her. However, I will state for the record that all of this was Sage’s choice. She is very determined and drives the bus on extracurricular activities and school. She puts enough pressure on herself that I try hard not to add to it. But somewhere along the line Sage decided she wasn’t done. She informed us earlier this winter that she was going to go to football workouts. She isn’t sure yet if she’ll play in the fall, but she wanted to continue her conditioning that she had done in physical therapy. Then during workouts she decided she would like to try and run track again. I was really nervous about her physical state and would often ask her how she was feeling. She assured me she was okay and put her heart behind her healing in order to get back on the track and Today I watched my daughter run again. She finished first in her heat in the 100 and despite a block malfunction, she finished with the pack in her heat in the 200. This is where my bias comes in. I know my daughters journey and it wouldn’t have mattered if she came in dead last, she finished first in my mind. I’ve known her struggles through life and how her mind and heart battle every day to survive and I truly felt that my heart was going to burst with pride today. Parenting is hard, but having my children is a privilege and today and everyday I thank a God for the opportunity to have them, love them and watch them fly. I love you all so much, to the moon and stars and back.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
All of this went through my mind tonight when I literally ran into a pile of them while hurrying to gather my six year old's animals for bedtime. However, I didn't curse them this time, instead I actually felt sad. I suddenly realized someday these will be gone, no longer scattered about because in his mind he'll be too old for them and he'll be on to other things.
So tonight I'll cherish that he loves his animals surrounding him in bed, lullabies and goodnight kisses. I won't mind finding a little person who's crawled in bed beside me in the middle of the night because he's had a bad dream, blanket and pillow forts in the hallway, or foam nerf bullets in my laundry. Instead tonight I'll rejoice in Legos, match box cars and all the other things that represent my sweet little Max. I'm very content to let them be, simply because I know they belong to a sweet little boy who won't be little for long...
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
Monday, May 4, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
The main reason I have been missing is because I am in school. In May of last year I got accepted into the Respiratory Therapy Program I had applied to. It started in September and the last several months have been a blur of school, homework, tests, lab practicals and trying to juggle being a mom, wife and friend. I swore when I graduated from Colorado State that I would never tackle school again, but life had different plans.
The post below is from when I received some of my books from school... it was a scary, but exciting moment to realize I had just set of on a new quest.
It's starting to get real... I can't believe I'm going back to school! I thought after graduating from Colorado State, that was my last Hurray... Life and a little dream chasing said differently
Some days I walk and study watching a gorgeous sunset. Today I study in the rain... But I love it no matter. — at Chambers Bay Running Trail.
I have the craziest feeling my grandma is sitting with me as I study. She's good momma... She's really good. She's with grandpa and her heart is so happy!!! — with Denise Frisoni Connelly Miller.
After 8.5 hours of school I'm getting miles for my babies! it's been tough... School for me five days a week... Watching my Rockin' Sage and her CC meets 2x a week, cuties playing soccer, school activities, Dr. Apt., laundry, housework, homework and tests and worst of all... rush hour! I just played hookie for a bit and enjoyed this bit of heaven on earth!
— at Chambers Bay.
A Mom/Student's purse and Max at my school. I was proud to show him where I go everyday.