Friday, November 23, 2012

Monsters gonna get me.

Tonight we were putting Max to bed and he was saying he was scared of the dark. Dad opened the door and we tried to settle him down and we both walked out.

He called to me to sing one song, so I went in and tried to comfort him and started to sing "Oh Danny Boy". At one point he said to me that he was scared of the monsters. He said the monsters were going to get him and then he made a growling- raahhhrrr sound and said they are "going to bite me head off." I almost couldn't believe it. I told him no, there were no monsters and asked him who told him that, he said Saxton.

After much coaxing and including Sage and Saxton in the process, we were able to get him to go to sleep, almost an hour past bedtime.

We had to have a conversation with Ms. Saxton about being careful with what she tells him, because he's smart and has an amazing memory. So while I know she didn't mean any harm, her little technique of threatening monsters in order to keep Max from certain areas, had now kept him from slumber.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

... You make me happy when skies are grey.

This morning I woke up to the sweetest text message from my Savannah. Reading her kind words reminded me how lucky I am to have this amazing person in my life.

Just a few days ago she had also told me something that truly warmed my heart. We were talking about Christmas and she said she had been asked what her list was. She responded that she was already getting what she wanted, both of her parents on Christmas, her dad in the morning and me at night.

Just typing this brings tears to my eyes. For she is a teenager after all and I know there are "things" she could put on that list, but we were more important than any "thing."

Ever since Savannah was a baby her special lullaby has been "You are my sunshine." Today's post is a line from our special song and is meant to remind her how happy she truly makes me. I have been through some truly grey times, but Savannah has always brought sunshine to my life and for that I am truly thankful.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Feels like home to me.

Friday, as I was driving to Chamber's Bay I realized how my whole body began to relax at the idea of being near the water.  I smiled as Puppy sat up and began to look out the window in excitement. We parked and I got Max all settled in his pack on my back and we headed down the hill towards the water.  Being there felt like coming home.  Somewhere along the way I had taken ownership of this place and it has become a little niche in the world that I fit into perfectly.

I have always loved the water, especially the ocean.  There is something about being on the shore at the point where the land meets the sea.  I love knowing that I have come as far as I can, I have reached the end of the road.  For over three decades, I had struggled and searched, feeling lost and out of place.  So it is an amazing feeling to have finally found a place where I am able to finally feel peace.

Years ago my father and I were taking  a walk in New Mexico along the Bosque that runs parallel to the Rio Grande.  It is one of those memories I hold onto so that I don't completely lose him (he hasn't spoken to my siblings or I in over three years.)  We were talking about the feeling of wandering and he told me that it is the Irish heritage in me that makes me wonder what is over the next hill, that encourages me to explore.  I believe this quality has given me the courage to search for a place to call home and I have faith that I have finally found it. 

Home for me is the sea.  My heart opens up, my worries fade away and a calmness overcomes me.  I remember one day during our honeymoon, Jerry and I were at Half Moon Cay in the Bahamas.  We spent the whole day in the water and at one point, I swear I was so relaxed while floating, that I actually began to sleep.  It was as if my soul had been searching for this place my whole life and had finally found it, finally found true peace.  

I have thought a lot about this experience, even felt guilty that it was such a solitary one.  I am a mother, a wife and my children, husband and family are where I draw my happiness from.  However, this was different, this was my inner soul, the part that needs to be still, at peace and nurtured in order for my heart to be whole.  Floating out in the middle of the Caribbean sea, is where I was finally able to begin to heal, almost like magic, scars that had formed as a result of years of pain and heartache began to disappear ever so slightly.  I remember feeling the urge to do something crazy, and I decided to swim in my birthday suit.  We had walked quite a ways down the beach (which was private anyway) and there was no one around.  I was free figuratively and literally!  If you have never done this, it is an experience that everyone should have at some point in their life.
Life is hectic, we are constantly on the go almost as if someone is pushing us here and there and not allowing us to stop.  I believe it is important for us to have a place that gives us the illusion that time is standing still, where we feel content and at peace.  If you haven't found your little spot of heaven, I am encouraging you to do so. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A mom's life and her potty mouth.

A quick walk to get the mail turns into a toddler's stroll, as the presumed wagon rider becomes the wagon puller. Leaves that might get stepped on and passed by without a second thought, get exclamations by a two year old, "big leaf!"

My day begins most days when my boss wakes me up. Today it was with a start and earlier than usual. I have to admit that while leaving the warmth of my bed is sometimes a struggle, this morning it allowed me to get an early start on my chores. I was able to strip sheets, remake a bed, start laundry, load the dishes, help make a lunch and fix a few flights to save a few bucks all before taking Saxton and our neighbor Ty to school. (Sage has band on Tuesdays and Fridays before school and rides the middle school bus.)

After dropping off the kids I headed to the grocery for a few things and a few shots. Hopefully my sore arms were worth the possibility of avoiding the flu and whooping cough. Then home to get the dog and take her to get groomed. Max sweetly told me that he "missed suppy (puppy)" as we came home after dropping her off.

I spent the next hours unloading dishes, cleaning the floor, making some calls for work and visiting with Savannah on the phone.

Before I knew it, it was time to wake up Max and head to pick up the girls. It was raining cats and dogs so traffic was slow. Then over the hill and through the woods and past the pumpkin fields to get Brayden. Back up the hill and off to the Doctor we go (went). I waited to the last minute to inform two little girls they had a physical and all four of my littles had the glorious excitement of getting a flu shot! Yeah! (I don't do the nasal mist vaccine because it's live vs the shot, which is dead.)

The doctor's was interesting. I had to hold down my poor little Max and kiss on him through his shot. Mr. Brayden required a treasure chest toy bribe for him to get his. (Oh and with a little help from the nurse who gently threatened calling in reinforcements to hold him down.) The girls were next, so I had to coax Brayden into the waiting room to do homework so that the girls could have privacy. Max wandered between the girl's exam room, the treasure box and Brayden's homework table. We left with a few extra treasures and some band aids.

Next it was a stop at the music store to get Sages band book and then back to Petsmart to pick up puppy (who is somehow missing half her tail fur). Additionally we also wound up with a new fish, a Beta who Savannah named Angus. (Oh, we also helped her study for her history test while we drove across town and back times ten.)

Home (thank you honey for making dinner.) Then a devide and conquer as Jerry took the younger three to get Max and Brayden a haircut (where they cut off too much of my baby's hair!!!) and I headed to the YMCA with Sage. I shook my tush in Zumba and then landed on my face while playing soccer with Sage's team in their last practice of the season. It was a take no prisoners match up between a few dads, me and over a dozen fifth and six graders. On the way home (after a stop at Mcy D's for a cone and apple juice) I asked Sage if she had fun, she said yes, she did, except for my potty mouth. I sheepishly agreed that I did let a few choice words fly, all in the name of fun.

As I sit here and single finger type on my phone (my computer has been down for some time now) I reflect on my day. It was hectic and full of color, but we survived with only mild battle wounds and a mild case of mommy potty mouth.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Are you kidding me?!? You want to Secede?!?

When I saw on Facebook today that there were several states that were looking to secede from the United States because of the election, i literally exclaimed, Really?!? Are you kidding me?!?

To me I think that sounds like a bunch of spoiled brats who didn't get there way, so they want to take their ball and go home. Wow, we really have become an ungrateful nation. My kids have to listen to me tell them all time, how lucky they are that they were born in the United States, maybe the whole country needs a talking to.

If you think you have it so bad, go to Uganda. Look at the kids with chiggers eating their toes and flies eating at the wounds on their heads. Watch as every thirty seconds a child dies of malaria. Walk the five, ten plus miles with the children as they go to school (if they're lucky!) There are no ERs with sterile birthing units, only a three dollar birthing kit if you're fortunate enough to come across one. Refugees don't get a vote. They don't have rights, but if they go home they'll get raped and/or chopped to pieces by a machete. There are no homeless shelters to go to. Instead they rot in UN tents with no food. I met a mom with a four day old infant, who hadn't eaten since giving birth. My heart broke as I watched Toddler orphans wander the camp wearing rags. If you need more examples, I've got plenty.

I remember talking with my African friend Emmanuel a few days before I flew back to the US. We were talking about lawn mowers (they cut their soccer fields with machetes). He could tell I looked sad and felt guilty because of all I had. Instead of judging me or being angry, he took my hand and told me not feel bad, but that I was just lucky to be born an American. I whole heartily agreed.

I am pretty sure that my grandfather (an Italian immigrant) who was shot during WW II, is turning in his grave at the idea that there are residents of Indiana who no longer want to be a part of the US and want to secede from this great nation. Shame on you. He nearly died to protect you and your rights as United States Citizens. Have you forgotten what today is? What an insult to our Veterans.

One of my friends commented how the world was ending and God Bless us all. She lives in a beautiful house with anything she needs. The world isn't ending, your guy just didn't win.

In my opinion, Instead of crying because you lost, why not be thankful that you had the right to even play the game. Some people would die and have died, to have just a chance to get up to bat, remember that. (I'm using Baseball, America's pastime, as an analogy.)

Good Night, thank you to our beloved troops and God Bless America!


All told, petitions have been filed on behalf of 20 states: Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.