Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My green children

Life in a bottle:

These two bottles contain trimmings from two of my daughter's birth plants.  I know this sounds strange, but one is from when Savannah was born.  We got it when we lived in our apartment in Bloomingdale, a suburb just outside of Chicago.  The other is from a plant left on our apartment doorstep in Albuquerque.  A neighbor left it without a note, when I was in the PICU with Sage when she was just a week old.  

I have become attached to these and others that I call the kid's "birth plants."  To me, they're priceless.  I was heartbroken to hear that Sam's giant plant, which I had to leave when I moved here, was gone.  I had grown that from a little planter I received from my biological father when Sam was born.  He never sent flowers, said they didn't last long and instead sent potted arrangements containing "baby sprouts."  I loved them and grew many of them into large, beautiful "adults."

My little Sam felt bad that I was saddened about the loss of his plant, so when we were at Home Depot this summer, him and I picked out a new one. It's not the same, but it still makes me smile and think if him when I look at it everyday.

Savannah and I also planted this summer. I guess she's inherited the urge to nurture and grow beauty as well.    I laughed as she planned our poses for a picture she wanted of us together gardening, soil, gloves and all.  

It's funny, I didn't realize until now how my father set a precident with me and my green children.  I have told my husband countless times that I prefer plants to cut flowers.  I guess over the years, I have seen too much beauty die or get tossed onto the trash.  To me, each plant has instead become a symbol of helping something flourish and grow. 

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Throwback to Seahawks Day!

If our lives are rated by the accumulation of memories, then I am blessed that you will forever grace mine.  When my mind clouds over, the thought of your sunshine smile makes all things right.  

One of my favorite memories was brought back today when Savannah sent me a picture from summer.  We were at the Seahawk's Richard Sherman's celebrity softball game.  It was Jerry's birthday and my little Savannah and I, as a present, worked as a team to get autograph's for his hat.  During our mission, we often had to share a single seat (the security guy gave us funny looks as she plopped down in my lap when he made us sit down during the game.) With her Savannah Sunshine smile and dodging the grumpy security guy, she managed to get over a half dozen autographs for him and Russell Wilson's for me.  Kam Chancellor was also a big help!  He passed the hat around. A truly awesome day!

Our son Max, two at the time, is wearing the beloved hat.  My other son Sam is wearing my beloved signed Jersey.

The picture posted below was one of several she insisted on taking of us.  I wasn't a fan of all the retakes, but she reminded me that one day I'd be glad she insisted on them.  Today is that day.  
I love you sweet girl to the moon and stars and back.  I miss you and wish you were here. 

Friday, October 11, 2013

Healing "bruises" while in New Mexico.

"These bruises 
Makes for better conversation 
Loses the vibe that separates 
It's good to let you in again 
You're not alone in how you've been 
Everybody loses-we all got bruises..." 

The funny thing is that I had wrongfully presumed that while I was here in New Mexico I would have the opportunity to blog more.  However, while I've been here since last Thursday, it's just been one of those crazy busy trips that seem to stretch time, but steal it at the same instance.  Tomorrow I head back home and I am very excited to see my littles as well as my honey-bee.  He has been a rock star while I have been away juggling work and the girls.  I have also had some very appreciated help from my neighbors and our beloved baby-sitter Kate, today she is even taking them to the movies. Thank you all!

This trip has been a much appreciated opportunity to see my family and friends, as well as work, show Max the Balloons and hike A LOT!  My parents and I have taken several hikes and walks since I have been here (we're supposed to go on my seventh hike/walk in a little while.)  They live just a mile or two from some awesome trailheads that lead up to the Sandia Mountain foothills.  Max has been my little co-hiker and rides in a pack on my back.  I have loved it and the one on one time with both my mom and dad, a very special and unusual treat!  Last Saturday we found a new trail and on Tuesday we hiked even further and found some really cool rock formations.  The whole experience of seeing the mountain and lush landscape in a new perspective, gave us the illusion that we were in a whole new country.

Balloon Fiesta on Saturday morning with my momma and sister Elizabeth

Finally just about done!
Max helping my mom spread rock.
Monday I painted up in Santa Fe at my parents office (which is actually a home) and Wednesday we decided to work on their backyard.  My mom and I laughed nervously as a huge dump truck showed up to deliver EIGHT TONS of rock.  As I began to shovel it over the wall into wheel barrows for my parents to spread around the back of the yard, I decided to challenge myself and see how much of the rock I could do myself.  There was something so therapeutic about the manual labor of it and how it just took about everything I had to complete the task.  My parents did come in and help with the last ton and a half, but I was still really proud for doing most of the shoveling myself.  At one point during the day I thought to myself that this seemed like some sort of "physical work" retreat to gain serenity in both body and mind.

It has also felt good to see some of my people and have some long, deep conversations about life, love and future pursuits.  Sunday, I had a bittersweet blast with my dad at The Fox and The Hound.  While the Seahawks lost a heartbreaker, him and I had an awesome time together, enjoying some very rare one-on-one time.  Elizabeth and the girls and my mom and Max met up with us late in the second half and consoled me on my team's loss.  Then Max and I headed to my good friend Becky and Tushar's house to hang out and allow their three year old son TJ and Max to play.  They were so cute and became friends instantly, jumping in TJ's little motorized vehicles and laughing as they rode around the yard.  We spent the night and were treated an awesome dinner and conversation.  (Thank you for your encouragement in my future personal endeavors... I'll keep you posted!)
At Balloon Fiesta Today!

My sister Kathleen got back in town Monday (we've been together every night this week) and spent the night Wednesday.  We both woke up in the middle of the night and stayed up for over three hours talking.  It was nice to lay in bed and discuss the secrets of our hearts in the dark.  I loved having the opportunity to have a sleep-over with both her and Elizabeth while I was here.  (Sort of Colleen too, but she is in the next room with her hubby!)  My sisters are my best friends and my loves.  Last night Colleen and Jed got in town just in time to eat dinner and I was as happy as a clam sitting between her and Kathleen while we ate.

My family and friends are very important to me and I am blessed to have them in my life.  While I was writing this blog, I heard Train's song, Bruises.  The lyrics spoke to me as I wrote about this trip and called to mind how I do have "bruises," but I am lucky to have people in my life who know of them, have experienced them with me and have only the intention of helping me fix them.  No matter if it was hiking, painting, talking, shoveling or watching balloons, all the events of this week have helped to open my mind and bring peace to my heart.  We all do have bruises and while it's therapeutic to discuss them, it's also just as important to let them them go.  Thank you to my family and friends (my people) for helping me on my journey to continue to do so.  

Side Note:  I have officially hit over 20,000 hits on my blog... Thank you so much to all my readers!  You all keep my dream of writing alive!


Belated Post

Written October 3.

Prelude:  I haven’t watched Sex and the City for years, although it must be noted that I was a devote fan when the series was running.  However last weekend I watched a few episodes and was reminded of the writing aspect of the show.  Basically Carrie wrote a blog like column in pre-blog times.  This was encouraging to me in my own aspirations to take my  writing to another level.  Unfortunately to those who are seeing a sexy blog, at this point (stay tuned) my blog is (for the most part) rated PG and lacking in sexual inferences.   However I am sure I could come up with a funny story or two.  What I can do is liken “Sex in the City” to “Momming in the Suburbs.”   I am proud to say that I’m on the brink of 20,000 hits and while this might seem like small potatoes to some, it’s much appreciated to me and encourages me to write on!  Additionally, one of my biggest challenges is worrying about what my Ex might say about my blogs, I am going to make a huge effort not to (pardon my French) give a shit anymore.  I have found that he will find something horrible and negative to say about me no matter what I do… even if it’s being entered into Sainthood.  As my husband told me recently, those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind. 

What a morning.  So at one point today I was running as fast as I could with a three year old in my arms, as well as my huge purse from my gate, back through the airport, to security.  (I left my other bags and car seat with good Samaritans at the gate so I could move with less bulk.)  It was 11:25, the time my flight was to take off, but thankfully the plane was running a little late.  Max, already so very excited to be flying on a plane, his absolutely favorite things in the world, was very concerned as to why we went from preparing to board, to running full speed away from the gate.  While carrying a purse, backpack, computer bag, car seat and three year old I had indeed forgotten my license and boarding passes.

Fortunately security did have my things.  However, I had to wait anxiously for them to be found and print the documents for me to sign in order for everything to be released back to me.  Then, this time with a three year old on my shoulders, I sprinted full steam back to the gate just in time to make my flight.  I feel a bit sorry for the guy next to me, I’m not sure of my body odor status after sweating buckets in my Seahawks sweatshirt while running my airport Marathon.  I wonder if it’s my disheveled look (my bun became a rats nest while I ran) that caused my flight steward to slip a little something extra into my drink.  (Now I know why he winked at me as he handed me my beverage.)  It could have also been the simple fact that I am traveling with a three year old, who has been phenomenal by the way.  I wish I could spout humorous horror stories of him screaming, kicking or throwing tantrums and get knowing sympathy from other parents, but (knock on wood) I can’t.   Okay, I confess, Southwest now has free TV episodes (Thanks Direct TV) that have helped, along with random games and books I have downloaded to my iPhone and snacks, lots of snacks! I digress.

The reason Max and I are flying (currently) to Albuquerque is to visit my family and friends, as well as to hopefully work a little.  I had originally planned this trip in order to work for my old company selling steel art at the balloon fiesta.  However the booth space we were supposed to get fell through.  With my ability to possibly still work, I decided to go ahead and go.  No matter what, I thankfully have my sisters, nieces and parents all there, as well as some friends of mine, (I lived in Albuquerque from August 2001, to July 2006.)  

Well we are starting to descend and one of the joys today has been to watch a little boy truly marvel and enjoy the whole experience of flying…. So it is here that I sign off.  

Written October 4th
I am at my parent's place now, having spent last night at my sister Elizabeth's house.  Max had a blast there with his two cousins.  They were so cute together.  My sister and I felt like little kids as we had a sleepover together staying up late talking in the dark.  This afternoon my parents and I (with Max on my back) took a hike into the desert with the dogs.  "Just taking the dogs for a walk," turned into a five mile trek.  I loved it and so did Max until he fell fast asleep nestled against my back.

I do have to share a "now it's funny" story about yesterday.  When we arrived in the airport in Albuquerque, Max got very excited about the escalators.  So excited that he decided to go on a few extra rides.  This would have been fine except I was lugging three heavy bags, a lunch box full of toys and a bulky carseat.  So when we finally made it back the baggage claim floor I called for Max and headed to get our bags.  However, Max wasn't quit done with his escalator escapades and headed towards them yet again.  Then, just as he was going up, I called out for him to stop and get off.  God bless him, he did turn around and tried to do just that, but fell and was being drug up feet first and with his head down.  I raced to help and in the process of grabbing for him, I dropped the car seat down the escalator stairs causing audible gasps from nearby spectators.  Yes, not my finest mommy moment.  But thankfully he was perfectly fine, just scared and I guess now we are able to laugh about it.  

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Miracles do happen.

Today was a day where I regained hope that miracles do happen. 

I just want to thank God for saving my mother-in-law today.  She was in a horrendous accident and came away with just a sore elbow after they literally had to use the jaws of life to release her from the truck. 

Grandma, as I call her, is one of the most loving, caring people I know.  Her and my father-in-law (Papa) are amazing.  They both live with integrity and practice true, unconditional love.  From the very beginning, they welcomed me and my little ones into their family literally with open arms. 

The ironic thing was that Papa was at the church mowing when it happened.  They are both devote Catholics and very involved in their church.  I truly believe an angel  followed Grandma on her trip today and watched over her during her accident.  After seeing the damage to the truck, there really isn't any other explanation. 

At times I wonder if God hears our prayers, but today I know that he's been listening.  He saved a wife, a mother and a grandmother and speaking for all of us who truly love her, we thank Him very much.