A little back story on my Grandpa's Rosary... He passed away in January of 2010. This was particularly hard, because I was going through a divorce and had just moved (December 2009) to Washington. In addition, I had just found out I was pregnant. Things were quite stressful and I was emotionally and physically drained. Jerry (my now husband) was kind enough to watch the girls so I could fly to Chicago to meet up with my cousins and attend my Grandpa's funeral in Indiana. It was a bittersweet weekend. It was wonderful to see my family and for all of us cousins to be together for the first time in years, but very hard to say good-bye to the one true father figure that had been there for me my whole life. In addition, it was heartbreaking to see my Grandma so sad. One magical moment was when all of the cousins surrounded my Grandma in front of my Grandpa's casket and willed our love to heal her pain and hurt. On Tuesday after the funeral all of us cousins were told to go pick something special from my Grandpa's Office. I was happy to get his elephant, something he had as long as I could remember. From there my cousins and I headed back to Chicago so they could drop me at the airport and just as we were leaving my Cousin Christi asked me if I wanted this Rosary. I said yes and took the black beaded Italian Rosary and held it in my hand the whole way to the airport. We didn't hit any traffic, which was a miracle and after I made it home safe and sound, my faith in the Rosary began.
Ever since then, I have spent most of my nights with my Grandpa's Rosary under my pillow. As I progressed in my pregnancy I held the Rosary tighter. I brought it with me to a late night Doctor visit when I began to have complications in my third month and when my belly grew I would lay it across my stomach so my Grandpa could watch over the new life I was growing. When Max was born early and was in the NICU, the nurse hung his Rosary in his incubator. After we brought him home I hung "Grandpa" (as I now called the Rosary) between my bed and Max's bassinet.
"Grandpa" has gone with me all sorts of places, on Vacation, to visit family and even on my Honeymoon. I joked with my Grandma and told her I took "Grandpa" on a Jet Ski in the Caribbean Ocean. My Grandpa always meant so much to me and I feel that he is with me through his Rosary, as silly as that might sound.
One regret I have is that my Grandpa never met Max. I whispered to him that I was pregnant when I said my good-byes, but that wasn't the same. I was lucky enough to get to go back and visit my grandma last June and introduce her to Max, but sadly, there was no Grandpa there to laugh at his little quirks and to watch him share food with Grandma.
|Grandpa and Savannah Summer 2006|
|Grandpa and Saxton|
I don't know the exact relationship between dreams and heaven, but I believe that sometime last night the two intertwined. My Grandpa was with me again, loving me, meeting his youngest great-grandson and I was loving him back.
I love you Grandpa to the moon and stars and to heaven and back!