Today has been an emotional day for many reasons, however, right now, I am literally dealing with sh*t. All day today my ex and I have been going back and forth about a fall break visit and now Christmas. These exchanges are never easy and truly stress me out. It's hard for me to admit how stressful they are because I know that he reads my blogs. I don't want to give him any more ammunition than he already has. But I'm so over dealing with his literal bullish*t!
Tonight, while texting back and forth about confirming dates for Christmas, he sends me not one, not two, but three pictures of his excrement. Yes, you read that right. My ex is 39 years old and acting like a child. Even worse, because if any of my children did such a thing they would lose their phone. What he sends to his friends, ect... is his business. But what he sends to me during a discussion about our children is supposed to be at least an attempt at civility.
What chance in hell do we have of ever coming to some sort of arrangement with our four beautiful children if this is what our conversations entail. I am not perfect by any means, but this is ridiculous. I am so over this song and dance. Normally I keep this kind of crap (no pun intended) private... but this time I am done. You want to know another time we got to see his feces? When we were in the hospital with Max in the NICU!!! He sent a picture to my husband.
I know we are divorced. I know WHY we are divorced. However, we have four children together!!! We both had to take classes on how to co-parent and I am absolutely sure that this is not okay. How can twelve years of marriage come to this? Wow. I don't even know what else to say. I look to this blog for many things, but now I am looking for advice. How do I even deal with this?
I have told all of my children many times, "he is your dad and I want you to have a loving relationship with him." My biological father doesn't talk to my siblings and I and it sucks. I absolutely don't want my kids having to go through that. However, accepting such behavior and knowing that this person is raising my children is almost too much to bear. I had hoped that someday we could at least have some sort of civil, respectful relationship for the kids sake, obviously that is never going to happen. What a shame, not for me or even him, but for Savannah, Sam, Sage and Saxton. They deserve better.
Side Note: Unfortunately this blog, if read by them, will not be new to my children. They were with him and he showed them the text he sent to my husband when Max was in the NICU and I was still in the hospital. They all know he does this. I did have the decency tonight not to share details of the text and actual images that my Ex sent... because yes, it does get worse.
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