A day in my life...

Periodically I like to blog my days.  I think back to when my oldest four were little and some of those days, weeks and even months are a blur because of how busy I was.  I wish I had noted more so I could look back and remember some of that craziness!

Today was one of those crazy days.  I woke up in a start and had the bright idea to mow the lawn and try the mulching function.  Well I didn't know that a frost covered lawn would just clump, not mulch.  Note to self, don't mow at 7:15 am when there is still frost on your grass, all that happens is a messy mow and then your dog tracks it in all over your floor.  So I quit halfway through the backyard and came in to get the girls off to school and Max and I ready for the YMCA.

I was able to get in an hour of mom time and take a circuit (aka kick your butt) class before Max's swim lesson at 9:30.  It was nice to catch up with my circuit friends.  Max did awesome in child care, yeah for him!   Swimming went well and he was excited to even get some time in the toddler pool, his very favorite thing.  Off we headed to the arctic blast locker room to freeze, shower and then freeze again.  I swear they make it super cold so we hurry faster.  He was funny and wanted to sit on a stool, naked and have his snack and then get dressed.  As I noticed all the other naked butts that used the stools for the same thing, I convinced him to stay on his clean and sanitary towel instead.

After we got dressed, we chatted with the sports director about the soccer game schedule (thankfully the girl's games are at the same field in case they have a game at the same time) and then played some soccer in the racquet ball courts for a little while.  Max is hilarious and already a really good dribbler and kicker after watching his older siblings play.

Our next stop was the collision repair.  Our little car that we have had for a whole month got bit in the back yesterday by a bigger car driven by a distracted 16 year old driver.  (We traded in Jerry's beloved truck in order to buy our house.)  He didn't see that everyone was stopped for school busses and rear ended me on the way home from getting the girls.  All were okay and he was super sad and apologetic.  Thankfully he was also insured, but I still have to go through the pain of getting the car fixed.  Max was entertained by an elderly gentleman who lost his voice and spoke through a voice box and sounded like a robot, utterly fascinating to a two year old.

After we got our estimate, we only had a few minutes until the girls got out of school (half day Wednesdays),  we headed to the house and watched as they dug our sewer line.  We have been going over almost everyday and yesterday they finally poured the foundation!  (We wrote in the cement  last night, our own little messages that will be hidden under the floor.)   Max was entertained by the "huge crane."  He loved it and was so cute!

Off to get the girls and then home to get Max to bed.  Nap for him and cleaning and some Garden Critters work for me.

Fast forward two hours and I have to call a customer back (she was super sweet and understanding that I work from home) so the kids and I can go pick up Brayden from school.

We brought our glass recycling, so after we got Brayden, we had glass throwing therapy as we catapulted several dozen bottles and jars into the bins.  The kids love it!  Everyone should try it!

After glass chucking, they talked me into getting donuts (for Max) and apple fritters (for the older three) at the Orting Bakery.  It was buy one get one free fritter day so the kids were happy and we even brought home two for tomorrow (they're huge)!

Car ride = Music time!  Can't hear exact cause of fussing when your listening to the tunes.  Embarrassed Sage at a stop light as I boogied to a tune while we waited for our go sign.  Then I blasted some Opera to embarrass them all as we pulled into our neighborhood.  Love it!

Home.  Crazyness! Wrote a much needed email, finished mowing the grass and then had to get the girls ready for their first YMCA Soccer practice at 6:30 (different teams, same time- my second trip to the Y!)  A quick dinner that dad brought home and then the four kids and I were off!  (Dad had just gotten home and I left him for some P & Q)

Soccer practice was also crazy!  I attempted to watch both girl's practice while wrangling a running two year old.  Brayden came too and was really good (other than teaching Max how to tip a goal, literally!) Side note:  Thank goodness it was gorgeous out (we topped 70 degrees today).  Anyway, we ran around the fields, up the hills, watched the girls and had several trips to the playground to slide down the slide and cause small heart-attacks for me. (I am still a nervous wreck from Max's femur break last year and climbing causes me minor cardiac episodes.)

Practice over!  Find soccer balls then head home to hit the showers.   Dad takes over so I can call a customer back and begin typing up an order. Yeah! Happy to get those!  I am just about finished, but take a break to kiss good-night and finally take a shower (the second of the day, but the only one where I actually cleaned myself... the other was after swimming and I just got more wet while I washed Max.)

Dinner for the parents somewhere around 8:30 (normally we all eat together, but not in the cards today).  Then Survivor.  Ironic, I felt like I was on my own version of the show today.

That was my crazy Wednesday... just a day in my life, but because I typed it out, I'll get to remember this one.

Holy Cornstarch!

It's spring break and so we were all home this morning hanging out. (We were at the beach all day yesterday enjoying the gorgeous weather and were all a bit tired.)  Jerry and I were upstairs on the computer dealing with Turbo Tax and the frustration that was causing when we heard Saxton yell from downstairs, "Max no!"  We asked her what happened (Max had maybe been downstairs five minutes and the girls were both down with him) and we were told that Max got some flour on the floor.  Thinking it wasn't that big of a deal and the fact that we were on hold with Turbo Tax we didn't go right down.  Our mistake.  A few minutes later her and Max came up and he was covered in what we thought was flour.  We knew we were in trouble.

Before I go any further, you must know, after this happened, Saxton was just walking through the mess, oblivious at the tracking she was doing downstairs, looking for the mail key.  Sage, just inches away from it all, was still staring zombie like at the television.  Jerry likened it to a massacre that had taken place and they were acting as if nothing happened.

Anyhow, after seeing Max, I jumped up and ran to the top of the stairs and saw this!

What you don't see, is the fine film of what I soon discovered was corn starch, not flour, that covered the entire kitchen and surrounding areas.  Max had gotten into Grandma's Costco sized jug of corn starch and tried to "make eggs and coffee" for us, at least that is what Sage recounted his words were.  Corn starch was everywhere!  This is where the mess originated, but Saxton, Max and Puppy traipsed it through the rest of the kitchen, down the hall, out in the garage and up the stairs!  You can tell by the look on Saxton's face that she realized, maybe she should have told us immediately the magnitude of the mess.

One other small fact is that we were supposed to be on vacation, sunning ourselves in California right about now.  However, Jerry and I are proud to announce we have decided to build a new home (so that we can have a new canvas for such messes.)  We have outgrown this one (Jerry bought it when he was single and the father of just one child, instead of the six he now has.)  This was a hard decision to make, we love our neighbors and our neighborhood!  And with big decisions, comes financial responsibility and so it was either Disneyland or a new home, and the kids chose the house!  (Yes, we gave them a choice and they didn't even pause with their answer, not sure what we would have decided if they chose the other way around.

So now we have been preparing our house for it's new renters and  have been working like crazy to clean all the nooks and crannies.  Therefore, you can imagine what such a mess led to... cleaning under ovens and underneath baseboards.  The freezer even found itself completely cleaned out, although I am not sure how that sequence happened.

But all is well again and Max is sitting on my lap giving me kisses and sharing his pretzels. (I just noticed the lid to the pretzels is also covered in a fine white film... )  This is life with a two year old and while he did get a time out and got to hear mommy exclaim a few choice words (to the corn starch of course!)  he was quickly forgiven.  Saxton and I even looked at each other as we began to clean up and giggled.  Hey, don't they say, "life gets messy, so you just have to clean it up!"

Sam's Birth Story

Baby Sam 2000

Preface:  When I was pregnant with Sam, I belonged to Babycenter.com and became pen-pals of sorts with a bunch of awesome ladies who lived all over the place.  I guess you could say this was the beginning of cyber relationships and pre-Facebook posting.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was sorting through some old papers and found several "posts" that I wrote to my friends.  One in particular, was very special.  It was my post just after Sam was born recounting the story of his entrance in the world.  I am not going to edit what I typed.  I am leaving it word for word, with even some typos because I was also nursing Sam.

Written March 27, 2000.

Sam is here!  All 7 lbs. 11.7 oz of pure joy!  He was 21 inches long and born at 1:22 am on Friday March 24th.  I had a little nubane that helped with the in between part of a total of three contractions, but the delivery overall was natural.  No episiotomy this time.  And I only needed a few stitches.  It was painful, but an awesome painful.  It was so intense and I will never forget it.  When they put him on my belly, I could not stop touching him and did not want to let him go!  He is beautiful and healthy and really here!  It was love at first sight and for some reason I feel/felt a little more protective about him than I did dd (dear daughter).  Maybe it was because I had a few more problems this pg (pregnancy) with spotting, etc... that I was more worried that he would not make it... anyway... his is wonderful.

About the labor... at about 7:25 I was coming home with dd from the neighbors and she was trying to get away, so I picked her up and had a major contraction, well just before I entered the garage I had this huge gush of fluid run down my leg, through my pants, on my shoes and the driveway.  I was not sure if I peed or if it was my water.  I went inside and took everything off and it did not smell like pee so I called dh (dear husband: these were shortcuts we used to communicate.)  He was at work and I told him I may have broken my water.  I told him to sit tight and I would call him back after I talked to the Dr.  Well after three pages I could not get a hold of him, so I call L & D and they told me to come in.  Dh came home meanwhile, he said that he could not wait and they sent him home.  He smelled my pants and also thought it did not smell like pee.  So we got ready to go.  We called mil and finally got her to agree to come over.  My neighbor came over so we could leave right away.  Dh did give dd a quick bath so that she would be all ready for bed.  

We drove to the hospital, I was having contras, but not real bad and only 5 min. to 8 min. apart.  We checked in and went upstairs.  I got undressed and the nurse checked me and said I was only 3 cm and my water had not broken.  So I guess it was pee, just not smelly pee lol. (side note:  I still think my water broke!!) Anyway she told me they would probably send me home.  Well then the Dr. came in and ripped my insides apart, said I was a good 4, he was going to break my water and we were going to have a baby.  He told us the nurses were busy and just wanted to send someone home, but this was a game and to just act like I was in pain  Well I was after they broke my water.  From 9:30 (when they broke it) until delivery, it was no fun.  Dh was a good coach.  He even had to help me go potty four times in the bed pan.  They would not let me get up in case of the cord prolapsing.  So I was in bed the whole time.  (little man is eatinng so I am typing one handed) The end was no fun because I was sitting at 7 cm and I had the urge to push.  I dilated to ten so fast and was climbing the bed with the urge.  They barely got me in the stir-ups and two big pushes later his head was out and then one more for his body  The placenta was no fun.  But was so worth it.  It was the most intense yet awesome/wonderful pain of my life!  (With dd I did have a local because of the episiotomy so this time was different with no local...)  

He is a good little guy.  He has really taken to nursing and that is going well.  Although I am so huge right now that I could feed five babies.  The hospital stay was nice, but Friday late morning little man gave us a scare.  After his circumcision, he started getting blue in his mouth and his arms and legs.  They ended up putting him in the warmer because his hr was low and his circulation was bad.  But by the end of the day and some major tlc by mom, he was better.  Except for a few short trips to the nursery for  weight and his 48 hour test, I did not let him out of my sight and would go everywhere with him.  I even had them give him his first bath in the room with me.

We got home yesterday afternoon and all is going well.  (Other than the fact that dh went golfing with the neighbor and left me with dd.) Thank you for helping me through this pg and for your friendship.  You are an awesome bunch of ladies and I glad to have you.

Lisa and Sam"the little man"Kenneth.

Postscript:  Re-typing this and re-reading it is very emotional for me.  I can replay all these memories like movies in my mind.  I remember in the middle of the night while we were still in the hospital, being all alone with Sam (My Ex slept at home).  He was sleeping on me and I was so high on adrenaline and love that I couldn't all asleep.  God had given me this perfect "little man" and I remember feeling so blessed, a feeling that has never faded.  Sam and I have a special bond.  He has always been my sweet boy and has always been such a love.  One of my favorite memories from this summer at that lake was during a late night boat ride with just Jerry, Sam and I.  We went out to look at the stars and say good-bye to the lake.  On the way back to the cabin, Sam fell asleep on me.  It felt like when he was just a little guy and would snuggle with me.  I truly felt like I was in heaven.  

I love you my sweet Sam.  You hold a very special place in my heart and I am so happy to be your mom.  Every moment I am away from you I miss you like crazy and pray to be with you again.  Happy Birthday and always remember... I love you to the moon and stars and back!

Reliving Childbirth.

Every year,  before my children's birthdays, I recount the hours (and sometimes the days) leading up to their birth.  I think back to what I was doing, how I felt and what the labor was like.  Today is no different.

Sage, my third born, will be eleven tomorrow.  I know that it is a parental cliche, but I truly can not believe how fast the time has gone.  As I look at Sage's baby pictures I feel a surge of nostalgia, happiness and love.  The tiny little baby that I see in the pictures is now a young lady full of opinions, ideas and gumption.


My pregnancy with Sage was pretty smooth sailing until the end.  The last few weeks were really rough with pre-term labor and even a false alarm trip to the hospital on Febuary 12th (I was four cm for almost two weeks).  I was able to time contractions down to four, five minutes apart for hours in the days before I actually had Sage.  I remember walking the hill by my apartment with my mom trying to bring on full blown labor.

The real deal finally began on on Feburary 21st.  It was a Thursday and I had attended a baby shower at my Ex's work.  When I came home, I felt a little off and I knew this was it.

After several hours of walking and watching Winter Olympics skiing (timing the contractions with the skiers going down the slopes was actually helpful), Sage entered into the world with a bang!  The last part of labor actually happened very fast and one thing I remember in particular, is that the nurse argued with me on wether she was actually coming.  She had just checked me and I was an eight, but with a quick change of position, (I had turned over and was on my knees holding on to the back of the bed for dear life) suddenly, I could feel that it was time.   She said I couldn't be fully dilated and refused to check me.  I have to give my Ex credit for what happened next, he told her I had already given birth to two other children (recently, I might add, my son was only one and my daughter three), and that I was laboring naturally, which meant no drugs, aka I COULD FEEL EVERYTHING!  After encouraging her to listen to me, they called for the Dr., (who by the way didn't have time to put on her glove.)  Moments later, with barely a push, she arrived into the world.  I was even able to help pull her onto my belly.

Sage was beautiful. Perfect.  She had this gorgeous olive skin and these black eyes that just stared into your soul.  There was barely a peep out of her and she nursed right away.  She was born just before two am, so everything was quiet and peaceful and I was left in my dimly lit world to love on my brand new baby girl.

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Eleven years later, I still remember the peace that I felt just after she was born.  I have always thought that if I had one wish for heaven, it would be the ability to relive the birth of my children (and every second after).  Having the ability to re-experience those moments, when the most amazing love-at-first-sight magically takes place, I'd know I was in heaven for sure.  Happy Birthday sweet Sage!  I love you (and all your brothers and sisters) to the moon and stars and back!  

The Naked Clam

Max headed to check out the ocean with his big brother Brayden.

A Clam culture does exist!  I was finally educated on this beloved tradition while visiting Ocean Shores this weekend with my family.  We headed up on Saturday to stay for the night at The Quinault and upon arrival noticed the clamming Woodstock that was taking place on the beach.  There were people everywhere and while they were not naked, after all the shucking that was said and done, the clams were.  I was intrigued.

After we checked in and got all our warm gear on, we headed out to the hysteria that was taking place on the beach.  The clamming craziness was in full swing.  Clammers, all decked out in huge boots, or even waders and rain gear were going at the beach with their clam guns and shovels as if they were digging for gold.  Our curiosity got the best of us and we quickly set out to find answers, first and foremost, what were these clam characters they were going after?  I looked down after the tide had drawn out and there was this strange thing wriggling in the sand.  Quickly I grabbed the strange creature and pulled it out of the soft beach, a clam!  (I later found out that just grabbing them like that was rare, normally you had to get down and dirty and dig for them.) A little while later I attempted to grab another one and tore off it's head, basically I murdered it.  Feeling terrible and not wanting to waste his life, the kids and I looked for some hungry Seagulls to share my find with.  They were more than willing to feast on my victim.

Clamming is not for the faint of heart.  It is a cold, wet and very dirty, sandy venture and all for just fifteen clams.  The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife States:

“The first fifteen razor clams regardless of size or condition must be retained. One daily limit of fresh shellfish may be in possession. Additional shellfish may be possessed in a frozen or processed form. Razor clams may not be returned to the beach. For razor clams, holes do not have to be refilled as is required for hard-shell clam digging.”

This is serious business and I began to notice this was a family affair, even toddlers were booted up and part of the mayhem.  I asked a friendly fellow to explain some of the rules and he informed me that adults have to have a license, but children, as long as they were with a licensed adult, could also procure fifteen clams.   One father noted that this was true, however he made sure his children took part in the process and helped dig and retrieve the clams.  However, what he didn't tell me, and what I soon realized, was how hard the digging actually was.  

Saxton trying her hand
at clamming.

A clam in the sand next to clam gun.

As we headed down the beach we came across a nice woman and her nieces and nephews.  They were really struggling to find and acquire any clams.  They were really working hard and not having much return.  After attempting to help them for a little while, we all caught a break when a good Samaritan stopped and gave us a clam-digging-101 lesson on using a clam gun.  First, you need to locate the bubbling hole which is hopefully holding a clam, then face the incoming tide and prepare to stab the shore with your gun. (Facing the tide is done for many reasons, but the most important reason is so you can see the approaching rush of the sea and not get caught off guard.  This happened to us and we all got soaked. Even me in my boots.)  Next he showed us how you place the gun at an angle and proceed to swivel it back and forth as you quickly (key word) maneuver the gun into the sand. Then you plug the small hole on the underside of the handle and pull the gun (now suctioned) out of the sand.  (Truthfully, this is back breaking, muscle wrenching work.)  After you pull the gun out, you have to move with super sonic speed in order to sift through the sand for the clam and if it's not there, plunge into the icy cold hole with your hand and fish for your prize.  After I got the hang of it, all of the kids wanted to try and we actually found several for our new found friends.  At one point I looked around at all the smiling faces and was happy that each and everyone of us was enjoying themselves.   

Our new found friends.  

Not long before we found our new hobby our son Brayden wasn't quite enjoying our venture out onto the beach.  However, I noticed that after a little while his face turned from sulking to smiling.  He soon became an expert clam grabber and attacked the wet holes with a passion and helped to take more than one into custody.  Clamming was no longer an unknown culture, but now a beloved experience.  As I talked with our sitter Kate who we brought with us, she recalled her own special childhood memories with her family.  We laughed when she came to the revelation that her parents most likely brought her along in order to claim her fifteen clams.  Growing up in Indiana, the only thing I shucked was corn, and I was as grateful for this new experience as my children were.

As we watched the sun set on our day and I watched my girls enjoy the ocean and the Sunset, I was very grateful for the gifts that the sea bestows on us.  Some our tangible, and some are carried with us in our hearts.  My family and I didn't know the lessons we would learn when we headed to the shore Saturday, and I am glad.  Sometimes the best things are life's little naked surprises.        

"Danny Boy"

Today my sister-in-law Kendra and I were discussing the "positive" aspects of our fathers.  If you have read my blog in the past, you know that my relationship with him is full of sadness and heartache.  However, in order to come to peace with the negative, I believe you need to remember the positive.

One of my oldest and fondest memories of my father, is of him singing to me as a child.  I was little, maybe three or four and I remember him singing Irish lullabies to as at bedtime.  Sadly, this tradition ended not too long after that, but it is something that has stayed with me all these years and a tradition that started anew when Savannah was born.

Tonight after I had put Max to bed he started to cry.  This is unlike him, he normally giggles as we put him in bed as he welcomes his blankets and his bed.  However, he has been cutting new teeth and has been very uncomfortable.  Last night he was up for quite some time in the middle of the night.  So I went in his room, scooped him out of bed, sat down with him and began to sing "Oh Danny Boy." Immediately he settled on me and I could feel his whole body relax. 

As I gently rocked him back and forth, as I sang to him, I began to reminisce about similar memories with Savannah, Sam, Sage and Saxton.  I remember singing to them as newborns and rocking them sometimes sitting, sometimes standing. There were even times when I was encouraging them to sleep in their own bed, that I would sing leaning over their crib with my hand patting their back or between the crib bars until they fell asleep. In the wee hours of the night when it was all I could do to keep my eyes open, the songs seemed to flow out of me without effort and always with love.

One of the most emotional times that I sang was when Saxton was in the NICU on a ventilator.  Seeing her with a tube down her throat and tubes everywhere was one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life.  I remember she was crying, but because of the tubes there was no noise.  At that point I couldn't hold her, but I could sing to her.  I wondered if she would recognize the songs because I sang them to Savannah, Sam and Sage while I was pregnant, and I believe she did because as I began to sing, she immediately quit crying and calmed down. 

Years later, when my Ex and I were going through the end of our marriage and things were really hard on the kids, I continued to sing.  I would go in each of their rooms and sometimes bring lotion and rub their feet and sing to them.  They each had their favorite songs, Sam really liked "Danny Boy," the girls often requested "Edelweiss," from the Sound of music and "Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ra."  (I still remember my dad giving me the words to this song when I was pregnant with Sam.  It was one of the songs along with "Danny Boy" that I remember him singing to me.)  Savannah's song has always been, "You are my Sunshine." 

I have happy memories and sad ones.  I remember singing as tears ran down my face and onto my baby's sweet head.  At times when my heart was sad, I would find as much comfort and peace in singing a lullaby to my children as they may have felt hearing it.  During happy times I would sing sometimes just to slow down life and take time to cherish my little ones.

Tonight as I was singing to Max, Saxton came out of her room in tears.   She couldn't fall asleep.  So I put a sleepy Max in his bed and headed into Sage and Saxton's room.  I took her hand and Sage's and began with the words, "Oh Danny Boy, the pipes the pipes are calling..." Soon Saxton's eyes began to close like her sister's and she was on her way to sleep. 

My dad and I don't talk anymore, he cut off communication with us almost three years ago.  This has been very hard,  but I realized today that he still holds a place in my life each time I sing an Irish lullaby.  I can't fix the wrong that I have done or the wrong that has been done to me, but I can try and take the gifts that I was given and pass them on to my own children. 

And now, just a few weeks away from getting to see my Savannah and Sam, one thing I look forward to the most is singing them to sleep.  In the meantime, I have been known to break out in song via technology, because no matter where they are, my little songs, filled with love, will find them.