He has my number

Tonight my little Max just about broke my heart. Every night at bedtime we have a routine, prayers with all the kids, hugs and kisses and then I sing him a "song," "one more song, and a "last song." This is after getting him his ice water and other little routine type things. We have our little arrangements.

It's funny, because I had been working late this last week and my mother-in-law has put him to bed. She and my husband tell me how he has my number. I think they're right.

Tonight my husband sang him his last song and after he said good-night and shut the door. However, Max called out for me and I went back in. He was crying and when I looked down at him after I sang another, "last song," he had this heartbreaking look on his face. His eyes were big and filled with tears and his lip pouted and he said, "I'm scared."

I attempted a fix by fetching Micky Mouse and his dinosaur, but the lip protruded and his eyes were as big as saucers. "I'm scared." He said. I broke and for the first time ever, I left his door open. He was quiet then and later when I checked on him, he was peacefully asleep.

He probably does have my number, but tonight I could see in his eyes his fear was real. As a mother you dread the moments when your children are frightened, when something is causing them to feel unsafe. I'm not sure what that was for Max tonight, but as his mom, I'll do anything to scare that fear away. After all, the day that all my children were born was the day they took my number.