Coffee Shops, Uniforms, Truth and "Face"book!

I met a friend today, another me.  Strangers?  I haven't met any, just friends I haven't made yet.  Max and I were in  Anthem Coffee & Tea today, waiting again for my car to get done at the shop.  I like this coffee shop, they are always friendly and I haven't had a bad drink yet, but my biggest draw to them is that they are tolerant of my 21 month old and the path of destruction he sometimes leaves.  (Today the barista even put a few squirts of Chocolate in his milk!) 

So little Max was in his stroller and this kind woman (Jayme) asked if I needed a place to park and made a space for me next to a table.  For anyone who is a mom of wee ones you know that sometimes navigating places with a stroller is difficult and any help is greatly appreciated.  As I sat down next to her I noticed her computer, a Mac and asked her how she liked it (she loved it) and in the next breath I asked her what she did.  I am pretty open with those I don't know, but not normally this immediately straight forward.  Jayme proudly responded, I'm a writer, both of a blog and a book.  Her blog is http://formersuburbanmom.wordpress.com/ and she is blogging about writing.  I told her of my blog and we chatted for a bit.  I like her, she gave me my idea for my blog today and didn't mind my multi-tasking between our conversation and tending to Max, who was checking things out and had a run in with a chair.

My "work" shoes!

During our conversation my "uniform" came up.  I am a mom and I wear the uniform of one.  It's funny that she mentioned that she too normally was in my uniform, yoga paints, t-shirt and running shoes, but had dressed up that day to write.  I told her I was dressed up because I had my contacts in, often times I come home and take those out and put on my glasses.  I had also showered today, granted it was because I was in swimming class with Max and I was already wet, but I was clean head to toe none the less. 

There are those moms who dress up everyday, they are the "cute moms" in jeans, possibly fancy shoes, make-up and hair that has been combed and completed in some sort of style.  That is not me. If I have on lip stick or chap stick then I am wearing make-up, I wear either flip flops or running shoes and my hair is almost always in pony tail or messy bun.  I am not judging those mom, if I was then I wouldn't be using "cute" to describe them, I just can't claim to be one of them.

I am a newly wed though (that still sounds funny) and while maybe I should be more attentive to my appearance, most of the time I am not, the truth being I am too old for that kind of bull shit (pardon my French, I couldn't come up with anything more creative to say than that.)  If my husband doesn't find me attractive in my nightgown that goes to my ankles then he's barking up the wrong tree in choosing me as a mate.  I am not saying that I never try to wear something sexy, it's just that I don't have the energy to keep up that facade day in day out.

Recently I read somewhere that people are dressing and even posing for pictures these days with the assumption that everything is going on Facebook.  It is so important to others that our "faces" are just so, in fear that maybe someone will see us in actuallity.  I have posted several times on Facebook about this, what would happen if we actually "got naked" and showed our "grandma panties" instead of our "sexy" ones?  What would I post today that was brutally honest about myself?  How much do people really want to know? 

Jayme and I were discussing how far do you go in your blog?  Believe it or not, I have actually been holding back.  I do have four children and I am trying to be considerate of the fact that they will be reading this.  Is that the best choice though?  How much do they need to know?  If I am truly being real in this Blog then do I owe it to myself to reveal all?  What if there had been Facebook when certain ugly events had taken place with my Ex, would I have smiled through that or would I have posted what was actually happening?

What would my post have been when my Ex came home and told me about some shenanegans that had taken place between him and a co-worker starting when Saxton was only four weeks old?  Instead of going on a walk and calling my friend Meagan, would I have gotten on my non existent smart phone and declared my heartache for all to see?  I don't think so.  The reality is that I wouldn't have, at that moment in time I was ashamed and told almost no one, especially my family.  I couldn't believe that I had been so blind, stupid to what was going on and I didn't want anyone to feel pity for me. 

There are so many little unwritten "posts" that I have not had the courage to write.  Maybe that is where this blog comes in, part of me believes so.  I wonder how many others are quietly going through some sort of hell and don't yet feel ready to be honest with the outside world.  It is so hard to say, "look at me!  I'm a mess!  My life is a mess!"  It's easier to put on airs, especially now with Facebook, after all, it's like a non-stop class reunion.  Who comes dressed in their true uniform to those?  Even I might trade in my pony tail for hair curlers for such an occasion.

But for today I have worn two things, a bathing suit and yoga pants.  Today my biggest accomplishment was getting Max to take big jumps into the pool and go under water as a result.  To most this is nothing, to Max and I it was everything!  After all, how many of us have the courage to jump, almost naked, feet first, into the unknown and come up smiling?!?