I am going to have a go at this "truth behind the picture" thing... In this picture if you look really hard you can see that I have been crying. It was the last day of my thirty days with Savannah and Sam and Sage and Saxton would be gone for thirty days with their dad, so basically my four oldest babies were leaving. We had been in Minnesota for twelve wonderful days and we were meeting Herschal in Minneapolis at a hotel to make the switch. I was nervous about that as well because we hadn't seen each other since December 2009(That meeting ended up being short and awkward.) I cried my eyes out as I packed. Jerry was very sympathetic and told me I needed to be strong for the kids. But the fact that I was very pregnant didn't help, I was hormonal times a hundred. I also did not mind the kids seeing me upset because part of me needed them to know how upset I was, how I felt like a huge part of my heart was broken. I know this sounds dramatic, but for those of you who are parents, imagine having to say good-bye to your children for weeks at a time. It is awful. Why did I do it you may ask... that is a story for another day. I have to get up more courage to tell that one. Back to the picture. I had this picture in my mind for weeks. I wanted to have a photo with all my children in it, born and in the belly home. It had come down to the last minute, just moments before we left for the three hour drive to Minneapolis. It was hurried and didn't turn out exactly how I had imagined, but I am thankful that I have it. One of my friends posted that she could see Love in that picture. Yes, true, unconditional love... What would have been a really honest picture would have been me sobbing in the car after I dropped all four of them off. Poor Jerry. He was my best friend that day. He gave me all the space and love that I needed... he didn't try to fix anything (there was no fixing anything that day), he just allowed me to be sad.
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