The Hello, Goodbye Airport

There is a children's book called The Hello, Goodbye Window that is my inspiration for this blog.  I remember reading it some time ago and related to the act of having a symbolic place for both hellos and goodbyes, a sort of entry to a worm hole that takes loved ones away and then re-delivers them.  Ironically, the last several times the kids have come out the same door that they later left in.  This causes me a sort of PTSD of sorts and I never quite feel just one emotion, but instead several feelings that come in waves.  The majority of my drop offs, pick ups have happened in Seattle, but there has been a few others, Albuquerque and Minneapolis where I have also had both joyful greetings and tearful partings.  Airports have become my Hello, Goodbye Window.

Tonight, in just minutes under God's watchful eye, the girls come home.  Just six days ago I was here sending off Savannah and Sam, so with the feelings of angst still fresh, being at the airport is bittersweet.  I have missed the girls like crazy, felt their absence constantly and counted the days for them to come home.  However I wish it was all four of them coming out of the gate instead of just two.

People do blog for all kinds of agendas, but my main reason is to express my feelings and organize them in written form.  My mind often races on at a million miles an hour and drags my heart along for the ride.  If I don't stop sometimes and deal with the onslaught of thoughts and emotions, then they tend to carry me away to places I don't want to go.  Relating a children's book to my life is a simple way of conceptualizing a very complicated part of my life.  As I sit here at the gate remembering last weeks heartbreaking "goodbye," and anxiously watch the clock slowly creep, my eyes fill with tears.  For while I am filled with mixed emotions, I am mostly grateful that thankfully tonight's visit is a happy, "hello."