Dear Savannah,
You don't remember, but I loved you at first sight. Nothing prepares you for the first time you see your baby, especially your first born. I say this only because its the first time you feel this kind of love, the kind that is so pure, so true that you didn't even believe it existed.
You don't remember, but I couldn't get you to sleep in your bassinet. I called the nurse after several sleepless nights and told her you'd cry as soon as I'd put you back in your bed after I'd nursed you. She suggested that I sleep with you and explained how to lay with you and nurse you in bed. It worked and you slept with me for weeks! We both slept so much better just because we were near one another. It's always so hard on my heart to be away from you.
I remember when you were three weeks old and we went to the lake with Kevin and Cara. I already felt like the time was flying by and I didn't want to put you down all day, so I carried you in my pouch, close to my heart.
I remember when you were four weeks old and you came to work with me. I was a full time nanny for three kids and had to use your dad's car with no air conditioning because my truck didn't have enough seats to drive them to horse lessons, ect... It was a hot summer, El Niño, and well over 100 degrees for several days. I had my first test as a mother when I had to refuse one day to drive the kids to the mall and elsewhere. It was too hot and you were so little. Thankfully the mom understood and agreed, but the kids moped around all day. I didn't care, I couldn't risk your health.
We were a team, you and I. I took you everywhere and loved to watch you grow and thrive. You were such a smiley baby, absolutely gorgeous and perfect in every way... Just like today.
What I want you to remember and never forget, is that I love you. You are my sunshine and I feel blessed everyday that you are mine.
I miss you! I love you! I wish you were here!
Love,
Momma
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