I'm at the airport waiting... I almost can't believe they're going to be here. My heart is pounding and I just want to hug them tight!
This morning when Sage got in bed with me and was so excited that today was the day. Max saw her and crawled over to her. He nuzzled her and was so excited to see her. Love comes full circle. When babies are born... so is love. To see the love among my children is the greatest gift... it overshadows any pain I have felt. They are my heart.
June 15th
Today was my first day with Savannah and Sam. I can't even explain how wonderful it is to have them here. Last night I was laughing and crying at the same time as their plane pulled up and they got off. I couldn't stop hugging and kissing them. It was wonderful. I can't explain it. When I finally got to bed after one this morning, I felt so relieved and happy that they were here. Just knowing that they were sleeping in the other room was like winning the lottery.
It is funny, I was driving to the airport and this One Republic song came on and at the end of it is an extended instrumental set. I have heard it before, and it is like a song playing in the background of my life as if it were a movie that others were watching. From the everyday things to the extra-ordinary. Mondays for the last several weeks are gymnastics, swimming and then two soccer practices. Jerry comes after Brayden's swimming and Saxton's practice and grabs all three little ones and I stay with Sage for her practice. I often call my sisters during this time and we have phone dates. Just this last Monday Colleen and I had our regular heart to heart, bypassing any bs and getting down to the real deal. Tuesdays are normally a down day. In the morning I take Max to swimming and then many times I do a billion loads of laundry. However this past Tuesday was Brayden's Family Day at school and Jerry and Max and I went. It was very cute, filled with songs and even a little outdoor picnic.
Wednesdays are half days. In the morning I have my counseling session and errands and then I get the girls. Homework, housework and then gymnastics and swimming. Thursdays are Jerry's days off. This last Thursday we had our dentist appointments. (He goes with me because I am a baby at the dentist... I have a deep fear and can hardly gather myself in order to go.) Then we were on a hunt, which extended into Sunday for a bed for Sam. Thursday night we took the girls and Max to the (dog)/park and for ice-cream. Friday night is another soccer practice and Max and I got a Costco Pizza and salad for dinner. Yummy! I do love their pizza.
Saturday was my own version of an amazing race to soccer games. We had Brayden Friday night (sometimes he is with us, sometimes his mom,) so Saturday I was up early making sure that all three kids were dressed and ready for soccer. Max also needed gear to last all three games. We had to be out of the house by 8:30, Braydens game was at 9:15, so we met his mom there and watched his game for a while, then the girls, Max and I loaded up and headed across town to Sage's 10 am game. She did great... really close to a goal a few times... but we had to get all packed up and bolt a few minutes early to go back to the YMCA for Saxton's game at 11. She did great, her dribbling is really improving. The rest of the day was pretty chill...
Sunday Jerry and I got a sitter and headed to find Sam his own bed. After a successful trip to a furniture store and IKEA we headed to Redondo beach for lunch. Max was so close to falling asleep so we took a walk on the boardwalk. It was positioned over Puget Sound and the view was breathtaking. I had not been there yet and was like a kid in a candy store. For those of you who don't know me too well, I get really excited. My ex used to say, "I wish you wouldn't be such a dork when you get excited... you don't have to say everything you are thinking.." but I honestly can't help it. I am an ooohhher and ahhhher! Jerry doesn't seem to mind... he just smiles.
Our lunch was wonderful... and Max slept for most of it. He is such a trooper, sometimes spending hours in my pouch during the kid's activities, going for stroller rides while walking the dog, crawling around following me from room to room as I fold laundry, clean, put aways clothes, ect upstairs. His favorite toy is a laundry cup. He also cracks me up by pulling himself to a stand wherever he can. He likes our laundry hamper, the shower (when someone is in it, he doesn't mind if he gets wet, quite the opposite, he loves it! He loves water! Baths, pools, you name it!) and the mirror in the bonus room, where he talks to his "twin." He is not a huge fan of his exersaucer unless he is right near me, like while I am doing the dishes and he can hold a spoon. He is basically my little buddy and goes almost everywhere with me. Much like the other kids did... especially Savannah.
kids to their activities in our air-condition-less car. I continued to take babysitting and nanny jobs even when we moved back to Indiana because it allowed me to keep her with me. These were not always easy jobs, sometimes working for women who were not much older than me, but acted superior because they could afford the help. I nursed her and all of the kids for at least a year, and it was nice to have them there with me. I remember when I went back to school when Sam was a baby I made sure to set my schedule so that I could take breaks to come nurse him.
Wow... I really went off subject...
Later we headed to the YMCA for the girls last gymnastics class of the season. They will be gone for a little over seven weeks so they will take the summer off. Brayden also had his last swimming lesson. Then showers, or in Max's case, a bath, dinner, desert and bed for everyone now but Savannah who is still up, sitting by me texting her buddies.
What was so wonderful about today was just seeing them all together again. And now there is a new piece in the puzzle this summer, Max. Tonight they were all just fascinated with him as he crawled, pulled himself up and plopped down on his butt. They had him laughing and following them from room to room. Savannah was loving watching him play with his image and even kiss the baby in the mirror.
My goal is to try and blog regularly while they are here. Having their presence prompts a barrage of feelings and memories to come to the surface. I am hopeful that I can work through these issues and still comment on all the simple memories as well. Our situation is a hard one. Everyday they are gone a part of me mourns them and longs for their return. But now I am able to be fully happy and complete with them here. And on that note I am going to sign off and eat some ice cream. Good-night friends... thanks for your support and I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog.
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