Monsters University

Happy Blog:  I am happy to say, going to the movies to see Monsters University with Max today wasn't so bad, he actually surprised us all in how well he did.  We contemplated bringing him all the way up to the point when we got to the theater.  In previous experiences he hadn't wanted to sit very long and liked to explore the isles, under the seats, ect... But he was so cute last night when he heard us talking about him going or not, he told us he would be good and sit in his seat.  So in the end, we decided to give it a try and with the help of a booster seat, pop-corn and treats he sat most of the movie (Which was great by the way!)  When he did start to venture out of his space, I reminded him that he made a promise to be good and surprisingly, he sat.  On our way out of the movies I asked Savannah, Sam and Brayden how they thought he did and didn't let them respond with anything but positive remarks.  True, he wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for being two.

Side blog:  Today I really wanted to write a bitch blog about how I am over packing and getting ready to move. (Instead I tried to write a happy Monster movie blog that will soon turn into a Monster Mom blog.) I don't want to seem ungrateful for the fact that we have amazing renters moving into this house (they actually helped us move our washer/dryer out tonight) and hopefully next Tuesday the 2nd we'll sign on our new home and get the keys on the 3rd.  Never mind the fact that there is no carpet yet and several other things to finish on the house which is making us nervous... but they promise to have it complete, so I digress.  I feel like I have been pregnant with a house, going each day (sometimes twice) to watch the building process from the foundation up, fretting over rain (literally sweeping it off the floors), cleaning every nook and cranny before they drywalled (probably unnecessary, do you know how dirty drywalling is?!?)  But my big mistake was starting to pack our current house weeks ago to the point that now I am super burnt out.  I had the hope that it would allow me more time with Savannah and Sam (and maybe it did, we did make it to the movies today and all the way to Forks on Monday.)  The truth is, I just want to be moved and done... but then I don't, because that means it's closer to the day when Savannah and Sam leave.  See, I'm a mess.  I can't even organize a proper blog in my head.  But as I scrubbed my laundry room floor tonight (which actually made me happy to see something dirty, become clean and thank you Savannah for helping) I tried to think of my blog topic.  I have made this 30 day commitment, which at this moment I don't know when it's over... but with the insanity in my life and my house(s) and trying to spend time with the kids, I'm not sure what will transpire blog-wise.  We will see.  Until then, I must go to sleep, another busy day tomorrow, so good night and sweet dreams.

P.S. Don't let the monsters scare you.     

This is for all you mommas out there who need a shout out!

I made a goal, a blog a day and so here goes...

First, sorry Savannah, but this is a mom blog, talking about my day, an average day, of a mom.  

Tonight I was reading Facebook and started noticing all the moms who were writing posts about how they were tired, fed up and at their wits end.  It prompted me to think about my day and I was curious if their's was similar to mine.

I woke up with Jerry at six this morning and was off to the races.  We are still in school here, so I had to get three kiddos ready and one two year old dressed so he could come along for the ride.  Then to give you the Reader's Digest version, I took Brayden to school, ran a few errands, went home to get my forgotten phone and headed to the grocery store.  I got done just in time to get the girls from school.  Home.  Made dinner, more cleaning, dishes, Max to bed, laundry.  Some work from home and then off to get Brayden from school.  Back to the grocery for some forgotten items. Check on home construction.  Home.  Get kids organized and ready for soccer, feed dinner to the littles and head to the YMCA for two soccer practices.  I did get a five mile run in while I was there (that was purely on fumes.)  Home.  Shower time, bath time, bed time, dinner time and thanks to my sweet hubby, movie time.  Whew!  And that folks was the Reader's Digest version.

Yes ladies, I know some of you are tired, fed up and probably feeling a bit at your wits end.  However, just know that you are not alone.  You have others out there to vent to and who are willing to give you the empathy that you need.  It is hard.  We do have to be chauffeur, counselor, tutor, personal shopper,  coach, fitness instructor, cook, maid, nurse and teacher.  However, just remember, when the day is done and it's time for good night hugs and kisses, when you feel those little arms wrap you in a tight squeeze, you know it's all worth it.  You are appreciated.  I appreciate you.  All of you who have had a rough day, I am hoping tomorrow is better.  Trust me, I am living, breathing, proof that this to shall pass.

This is dedicated to all of my babies.  You are all the best of me and I love you all to the moon and stars and moon and stars and back!

Savannah, you prompted me today to write about a current issue.  I hope I did you proud.  There is nothing more current then a modern day mom's struggle to just make it through the day.  If she can do that, then she has won, no matter what anyone says.

       

Reliving Childbirth.

Every year,  before my children's birthdays, I recount the hours (and sometimes the days) leading up to their birth.  I think back to what I was doing, how I felt and what the labor was like.  Today is no different.

Sage, my third born, will be eleven tomorrow.  I know that it is a parental cliche, but I truly can not believe how fast the time has gone.  As I look at Sage's baby pictures I feel a surge of nostalgia, happiness and love.  The tiny little baby that I see in the pictures is now a young lady full of opinions, ideas and gumption.


My pregnancy with Sage was pretty smooth sailing until the end.  The last few weeks were really rough with pre-term labor and even a false alarm trip to the hospital on Febuary 12th (I was four cm for almost two weeks).  I was able to time contractions down to four, five minutes apart for hours in the days before I actually had Sage.  I remember walking the hill by my apartment with my mom trying to bring on full blown labor.

The real deal finally began on on Feburary 21st.  It was a Thursday and I had attended a baby shower at my Ex's work.  When I came home, I felt a little off and I knew this was it.

After several hours of walking and watching Winter Olympics skiing (timing the contractions with the skiers going down the slopes was actually helpful), Sage entered into the world with a bang!  The last part of labor actually happened very fast and one thing I remember in particular, is that the nurse argued with me on wether she was actually coming.  She had just checked me and I was an eight, but with a quick change of position, (I had turned over and was on my knees holding on to the back of the bed for dear life) suddenly, I could feel that it was time.   She said I couldn't be fully dilated and refused to check me.  I have to give my Ex credit for what happened next, he told her I had already given birth to two other children (recently, I might add, my son was only one and my daughter three), and that I was laboring naturally, which meant no drugs, aka I COULD FEEL EVERYTHING!  After encouraging her to listen to me, they called for the Dr., (who by the way didn't have time to put on her glove.)  Moments later, with barely a push, she arrived into the world.  I was even able to help pull her onto my belly.

Sage was beautiful. Perfect.  She had this gorgeous olive skin and these black eyes that just stared into your soul.  There was barely a peep out of her and she nursed right away.  She was born just before two am, so everything was quiet and peaceful and I was left in my dimly lit world to love on my brand new baby girl.

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Eleven years later, I still remember the peace that I felt just after she was born.  I have always thought that if I had one wish for heaven, it would be the ability to relive the birth of my children (and every second after).  Having the ability to re-experience those moments, when the most amazing love-at-first-sight magically takes place, I'd know I was in heaven for sure.  Happy Birthday sweet Sage!  I love you (and all your brothers and sisters) to the moon and stars and back!  

The Naked Clam

Max headed to check out the ocean with his big brother Brayden.

A Clam culture does exist!  I was finally educated on this beloved tradition while visiting Ocean Shores this weekend with my family.  We headed up on Saturday to stay for the night at The Quinault and upon arrival noticed the clamming Woodstock that was taking place on the beach.  There were people everywhere and while they were not naked, after all the shucking that was said and done, the clams were.  I was intrigued.

After we checked in and got all our warm gear on, we headed out to the hysteria that was taking place on the beach.  The clamming craziness was in full swing.  Clammers, all decked out in huge boots, or even waders and rain gear were going at the beach with their clam guns and shovels as if they were digging for gold.  Our curiosity got the best of us and we quickly set out to find answers, first and foremost, what were these clam characters they were going after?  I looked down after the tide had drawn out and there was this strange thing wriggling in the sand.  Quickly I grabbed the strange creature and pulled it out of the soft beach, a clam!  (I later found out that just grabbing them like that was rare, normally you had to get down and dirty and dig for them.) A little while later I attempted to grab another one and tore off it's head, basically I murdered it.  Feeling terrible and not wanting to waste his life, the kids and I looked for some hungry Seagulls to share my find with.  They were more than willing to feast on my victim.

Clamming is not for the faint of heart.  It is a cold, wet and very dirty, sandy venture and all for just fifteen clams.  The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife States:

“The first fifteen razor clams regardless of size or condition must be retained. One daily limit of fresh shellfish may be in possession. Additional shellfish may be possessed in a frozen or processed form. Razor clams may not be returned to the beach. For razor clams, holes do not have to be refilled as is required for hard-shell clam digging.”

This is serious business and I began to notice this was a family affair, even toddlers were booted up and part of the mayhem.  I asked a friendly fellow to explain some of the rules and he informed me that adults have to have a license, but children, as long as they were with a licensed adult, could also procure fifteen clams.   One father noted that this was true, however he made sure his children took part in the process and helped dig and retrieve the clams.  However, what he didn't tell me, and what I soon realized, was how hard the digging actually was.  

Saxton trying her hand
at clamming.

A clam in the sand next to clam gun.

As we headed down the beach we came across a nice woman and her nieces and nephews.  They were really struggling to find and acquire any clams.  They were really working hard and not having much return.  After attempting to help them for a little while, we all caught a break when a good Samaritan stopped and gave us a clam-digging-101 lesson on using a clam gun.  First, you need to locate the bubbling hole which is hopefully holding a clam, then face the incoming tide and prepare to stab the shore with your gun. (Facing the tide is done for many reasons, but the most important reason is so you can see the approaching rush of the sea and not get caught off guard.  This happened to us and we all got soaked. Even me in my boots.)  Next he showed us how you place the gun at an angle and proceed to swivel it back and forth as you quickly (key word) maneuver the gun into the sand. Then you plug the small hole on the underside of the handle and pull the gun (now suctioned) out of the sand.  (Truthfully, this is back breaking, muscle wrenching work.)  After you pull the gun out, you have to move with super sonic speed in order to sift through the sand for the clam and if it's not there, plunge into the icy cold hole with your hand and fish for your prize.  After I got the hang of it, all of the kids wanted to try and we actually found several for our new found friends.  At one point I looked around at all the smiling faces and was happy that each and everyone of us was enjoying themselves.   

Our new found friends.  

Not long before we found our new hobby our son Brayden wasn't quite enjoying our venture out onto the beach.  However, I noticed that after a little while his face turned from sulking to smiling.  He soon became an expert clam grabber and attacked the wet holes with a passion and helped to take more than one into custody.  Clamming was no longer an unknown culture, but now a beloved experience.  As I talked with our sitter Kate who we brought with us, she recalled her own special childhood memories with her family.  We laughed when she came to the revelation that her parents most likely brought her along in order to claim her fifteen clams.  Growing up in Indiana, the only thing I shucked was corn, and I was as grateful for this new experience as my children were.

As we watched the sun set on our day and I watched my girls enjoy the ocean and the Sunset, I was very grateful for the gifts that the sea bestows on us.  Some our tangible, and some are carried with us in our hearts.  My family and I didn't know the lessons we would learn when we headed to the shore Saturday, and I am glad.  Sometimes the best things are life's little naked surprises.        

Dear Savannah and Sam,

Dear Savannah and Sam,

I almost lost it in Starbucks today. Jerry was joking with me about my big Africa purse and I turned to him and said, "tough crowd, tough crowd." I laughed and thought of you Savannah.  I remembered  you, Sam, Jerry and I on the plane coming home from Albuquerque. It felt so wonderful to be snuggled next to you looking at pictures from the wedding. I don't remember how the "tough crowd" comment came up, I just remember us laughing about it. It became our thing.

Thoughts like this pop in my head several times a day. They are like little movies that I allow myself to play over and over in an attempt not to miss you so much.  However there is often a fine line for me between feeling happy and then possibly being choked up because I miss you so much.  Here are a few other little memories that I would like to replay...

I remember in New Mexico, December 26th, Sam and I decided to go for a walk.  It was brisk, but sunny out and we took turns taking pictures while walking/jogging.  Sam and I just chatted away and both were in awe over the setting sun and beautiful views.  New Mexico is a beautiful place and no matter the time of year, lives up to it's name, Land of Enchantment.  Every time I come back it feels like coming home (I have several "homes" in my life.)  During our walk, we were able to watch the sun set, the moon rise and enjoy the beautiful shadow art on the desert and homes.  I loved this moment because it was just you and I, unfortunately a rare opportunity, which made it even more precious.  

That night was another memory that makes me smile.  We went with your Aunt Kathleen, Uncle Ben and Grandma to the mall where they spoiled both of you by buying you clothes (Savannah) and hats (Sam.)  We enjoyed half price frozen yogurt and laughed our behinds off as Uncle Ben lessoned us in speed walking.  A simple shopping trip turned into a lot of fun because of our goofing off and laughing the whole time.  

I loved every second of your visit over Christmas; Christmas together and a slumber party with good night songs. Hunting for breakfast burritos after 11 a.m. and shopping with Aunt Elizabeth and the cousins.  Picking up Jerry from the airport with Aunt Colleen and then helping her hunt for Wedding stuff at Hobby Lobby.  Dinner out with all the family and the movies with Aunt Colleen & Uncle Jed. Going on a long walk/hike searching for and finding Wild Horses near Grandma and Grandpa's house.  

Savannah, getting our nails done and lunch with all your Aunts and cousins Liberty and Addison. Helping to get ready for Aunt Colleen's Wedding.  Driving to the Jamez Mountains and hiking in the snow along a frozen river and dealing with four wild and crazy dogs.  Having Pizza at Aunt Kathleen's and Uncle Ben's.  Breakfast with Tushar, Becky and TJ where Sam taught TJ how to balance a spoon on his nose.  Aunt Colleen's Wedding and Sam, you showing us your amazing Dance moves as well as slow dancing with me.  Our plane rides to Washington where Savannah defied logic and walked the wrong way on the people movers.

We had an awesome time in Seattle watching the sun set, walking through Pike's place, playing games and having a fabulous dinner at PF Changs. I loved being with all six of my littles together, sometimes doing nothing but just hanging out or searching for Crabs at Chamber's Bay. Sam, you and I helping Savannah and being lessoned on a teenage girl and her shopping, as well as learning what ugly things are actually in some video games. ;-)Watching Life of PI and discussing the meaning of the movie.  Savannah our bike ride, remember how good you did?  Watching the Seahawks together, and they won! Eating all of Grandma's wonderful food and celebrating Christmas together, again. 

Life isn't perfect, but these memories with you two are.  I love you both so much and miss you like crazy.  The hardest part of being away isn't necessarily the big things, but the small ones; kissing you good-night, seeing you smile and hearing you laugh, hugging you.  

Please remember one more thing, I love you to the moon and stars and back. 

Love, Mommy

Colleen and Jed's Wedding December 31st, 2012