That's what sisters are for.

Today my baby sister Colleen turns twenty five.  A fact that makes me feel both nostalgic and a little old, after all I was twelve when she was born.  I remember her "birth" day like it was yesterday and thank God all the time for her.  She brings such humor and spunk to our lives and truly brought love to mine at a much needed time in my life.  

I called her this morning and sang with my best voice H a P p Y   B i r T h D a Y! 

She called back while I was in Costco with Max, but I sang her another quick rendition not caring who heard.  She heard her monkey (his given name from his Aunt) in the background and asked about him.  I professed by telling her how earlier I looked in the mirror in Costco's bathroom and saw that my shirt was holey and see through enough that you could see my black and white bra.  That along with my messy hair was enough for me to wish for no run ins with anyone I knew.  (For those of you who know me well, know I don't often care what I wear unless I'm working.  I have clothes older than Savannah in my closet, but even I had crossed my own fine line in the sand.) 

Anyhow, I continued to tell her how Max was literally monkeying around in the cart.  So at one point, I pointed to this well behaved little girl and encouraged him to sit nice like her.  Then to my horror, I saw who was pushing the cart.  It was a mom I ran into frequently at the YMCA, who of course looked cute as a button.  She smiled a kind smile, but it could have easily been one of sympathy at how disheveled I looked.  Smiling sheepishly, I walked away.  Hey, I wanted to say, In my defense I had to rush out of the house to get one to band before school and home to get another off to the bus.  Then I was off to run several errands.  Although I admit it wouldn't have hurt to look in a mirror.  

So I went on and shared with her my feelings of ineptness, knowing full well that she wouldn't judge me.  I didn't tell her that the shirt I was wearing was the one I found left behind at the Dave Matthew's concert that her and I went to a few weeks ago.  After wearing it today, I realized why they threw it to the ground, probably after replacing it with a newer model.  Nonetheless, I will wear it again, although maybe next time I'll at least wear a cami underneath.  Hey, one person's literal trash is another DMB fan's treasure.  

When I was finished regergitating all this to her about how attractive I was looking today, she made me bust out laughing after making some comment about making out.  She never lets me take life too seriously and quickly I was back to proudly sporting my new (even if used) DMB T-shirt.  

I am lucky to have many blessings and my sisters are three of my biggest. All different, yet special, they add something to my life that I couldn't live without.  

I love you Colleen, Elizabeth and Kathleen and miss you so much.  

H a P p Y   Bi R t H d A y my sweet, funny and adorable baby sister!  Thank you for everything you've done for me and all you've brought into my life! May all your wishes come true!!!

Taken by my honey 9-1-13 at DMB concert. 

Goodnight my angel

Fifteen years ago today, I was spending my first night as a mother. Much like tonight, I couldn't sleep. I had this new, beautiful, tiny new life to take care of. Savannah was a gorgeous newborn and I couldn't stop looking at her, in awe that I actually made such a perfect little person.

I don't know how to best explain the love a mother has for her child, it's almost unexplainable at times. You're heart truly beats for this other person and the love you feel crosses all boundaries. Savannah being my firstborn, taught me so much about life, love and sacrifice. I truly grew up just days after my twenty first birthday. From that moment, when I first found out I was pregnant, every choice I made, now revolved around her.

Tonight, even though my baby is now hundreds of miles away, her momma is still up, thinking about her, loving her and thanking God for bringing her into this world.

I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here.

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl.

Savannah's Shoes.

Dear Savannah,

Yesterday while I was cleaning and packing, I came across a pair of your baby shoes. They're little, size five and carry the stains and residues of fabulous toddler adventures.  Looking at those tiny shoes and thinking of the little one who wore them, just about overwhelmed me.  I can't believe in one week you'll be fifteen, my baby girl is growing up.  Our conversations now revolve around  high-school, track, girlfriend sagas and how your boyfriend asked you out (very sweet by the way.)  I realize I could pretend that you're not yet at this stage, but then I would be alienating you and shutting myself out of your world.  As a result of the physical distance between us at times, I believe we have grown closer on an emotional level.  Every little second that I get with you, even if it is via FaceTime or snap-chat is precious to me.  I can't go back in time to when your little feet filled those tiny shoes, but I can remind you of something that will never change... how very much I love you.  You are my sunshine.  I miss you. I love you.  I wish you were here.

Love, Momma

P.S. Kiss and hug your brother and have him kiss and hug you back, (from me!)